Accidental Attachment (It's A Funny Story #1)

by Max Monroe

Also, due to the hilarious and addictive nature of this book’s content, the following things are not recommended: reading in public places, reading in bed next to a light-sleeping spouse and/or pet and/or child, reading on a date, reading on your wedding day, reading during the birth of your child, reading while eating and/or drinking, reading at work, reading this book to your boss, and/or reading while operating heavy machinery. Also, if suffering from bladder incontinence due to age/pregnancy/childbirth/etc., we recommend wearing sanitary products and/or reading while sitting directly on a toilet. It might seem like a long list of places not to read, but we assure you, if you do it in the right setting, it’ll be worth it.

To anyone who has ever crushed on someone so hard it made them do stupid things. And to Henry Cavill’s right testicle. Some might say it’s his best testicle, and well, we agree.

This. This is great literature. It’s not highbrow or intellectual, but it’s an experience. It makes the reader live and breathe and cry and mourn the losses of its characters before they celebrate the victories. It touches on passion and personal poignancy. There’s a reason romance is one of the most popular genres in the world, whether snooty-falooty people want to believe it or not.

“I don’t understand, I’m sorry. The math ain’t mathin’. There’s no way someone named Justin had something better going than you. I refuse to believe it. Refuse.”

Dear God, how did you make this man? How? I must know the full recipe with instructions for how to complete it. I mean, if I can’t have Chase, I may as well attempt to bake a man just like him from scratch, right?

My mind is kind of cute when it’s being stupid. When have I ever been able to achieve normal?

Avoiding Brooke for the last eighteen hours has been the longest seventy-two hours of my life. I know that doesn’t make logical sense, but if you felt what I feel, you’d get it.

But first, I need to find a bottle of water because my mouth is drier than the pussy of a woman who’s been married to a narcissist for twenty-five years.

I’m always amazed the destruction that dehydration can cause to the human body and how the simple act of hydration can spur what feels like a miraculous change. Like, maybe if I read that book by Ann Rule about Ted Bundy, I’d find out he wasn’t really meant to be a serial killer at all. Maybe he was just really dehydrated and not good at keeping up with his water intake.

“Oh my God. You’re gonna—” “Yep.” Chase nods, the natural ease of his handsome smile during such a huge moment a memory I’ll remember forever. “I’m sealing the deal, locking it up, making the coolest woman on the entire planet mine forever.” He pauses for a brief moment—just enough time for me to wipe the bubble of snot forming at my nose away—and then continues. “That is…if you’ll have me.”

“Brooke Baker…lover of Dolly, master of words, queen of humor and my heart…will you, please, be my wife?” “Yes!” I exclaim. “Yes, a thousand times. Yes, before you even asked me. Yes to forever.”

“Sending the book was an accident,” he says softly. “But you and I? We were meant to be.”