Until I Get You (Fairview Hockey, #1)

by Claire Contreras

“And you know what else? You weren’t the only one who was hurt that day. I was also attacked and sent to the hospital, so just. . .fuck you.”

“You don’t deserve to know anything that happened to me. You don’t deserve to know anything about me at all,” she seethes quietly. “Don’t ask me for anything else. I don’t have any more to give.”

YOU TELL HIM GIRL

“She’s told me about you.” He looks in the direction she disappeared to.

“I’m sure it doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I’ve never seen her truly smile or laugh. Certainly not the way she did tonight.”

“I know I’m a complete stranger, and I probably shouldn’t be saying this,” he says. “But that girl is so fucking in love with you that none of the men in this city ever stood a chance.”

She only speaks to Pat. Even with him, it’s just short answers and tiny pretend smiles. I realize that I’m seeing her shutting down right before my eyes,

Dickhead.

the only things I can think about are that she has pictures of me in her office and that she has spoken to all of these people about me.

This is why Marissa and Prescott guard all of her secrets. This is why men chase after her despite her standoffish attitude. This is why I fell so fucking hard for her. I’ve met more people than I can count, so I know gems when I see them, and this fucking girl has a heart of gold. Black gold, if that’s a thing, but gold nonetheless.

She sets down her purse and looks at me. Expressionless. Fuck, I can’t let her do this. I can’t let her go blank on me. I have a feeling that if she puts up walls between us, I won’t be able to tear them down this time. It’s a terrifying thought.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I heard you,” she says. “I really am.” “I said I heard you.” Her eyes flash to mine. “I’m trying to figure out if I even give a fuck anymore.” My heart sinks. No, fuck no.

The woman I love, who I’d give anything to have — who I gave up everything to find — is finally next to me, and she might as well be on another planet, with how far she feels.

All of the spare glances I’ve caught from him have been wary, which is good. He’s right to be scared.

I love her

“That man. . .” He shakes his head. “Let’s just say the entire fucking team knows your full name.”

Despite that, he took a sip of my drink before handing it to me, which seems like a small gesture, but it means a lot to me.

I move the position of my fingers on my cup so that my middle finger subtly sticks out to him. His jaw ticks again.

“Did you enjoy speaking to Sean?”

“I did, actually. He’s a very nice guy.”

“I guess it’s a good thing you don’t like nice guys,” he says.

“Okay, fuck this,” Lachlan mutters and I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath. “If one of you touches her, I will kill you. If you flirt with her, I will kill you,” Lach says, the growl in his low menacing voice halting their conversations. “Don’t look at her. Don’t talk to her. Don’t even fucking think about her.”

I can’t believe they actually listen and shut up. He’s a freaking lunatic and they’re a bunch of idiots. They outnumbered Lachlan by a landslide. If anything goes down, he’ll be the one who’s fucked, but for some crazy reason, they listen to him.

He wants to play this game? Okay, then. Let’s fucking play. My mouth still hurts, but I manage to give him my fakest smile and watch his eyes turn to slits.

This has become a power play and I know him. He may be pissed off enough to hurt me the way he knows he just did, but not seeing my face while he fucks me will hurt him more.

“Do you trust me?” My eyes widen. He wants to talk about trust NOW? In the middle of this?

“Do you trust me, or is that also gone?” His eyes are hard, as he asks the question. I know he’s upset, but fuck, why now? I take a breath and nod. His eyes darken. “I need to hear the words.” “I trust you,” I whisper, looking at him.

My heart squeezes at what I find in his eyes. Yes, they’re intense, but this isn’t an angry fuck. This is something totally different. This is him before. This is him when he loved me, even though neither of us spoke the words aloud.

The way he’s looking at me brings an entirely different kind of pain, the kind that crushes my chest and threatens to break it into pieces. For a moment, I get completely lost in his deep green eyes. I see his pain, his longing, his love. It’s too much. Too raw.

I don’t want this version of him if he’s just going to go back to being a complete asshole.

I turn my head away. He grabs my face and turns it back. I shut my eyes. I can’t look at him. I can’t. I can’t. ...

“I can’t,” I whisper. “I need you to look at me.” “I can’t,” I repeat a little louder, tears rolling down the sides of my face and hitting my neck. “I need you. . .to look at me.” He lets out a deep breath and stops moving.

“Come on, Lyla James,” he rasps out, taking my bottom lip into his mouth. “I want everything. Give me everything.”

He brings a hand up and cups my face. “I’m sorry.” “Me too.” He lets out a heavy exhale and pulls me into his arms. I hug him back just as tightly. We stay that way for a while. I wish it would last forever.

My first thought, the first time I walked in here was, “Lyla would hate this place.”

“Is that an elevator?” “Yeah, but they’re currently replacing the flooring and mirrors, per my father’s request, so we have to use the other one.” “Like peasants,” she whisper-shouts as she turns to walk down the hall.

I laugh. Oh, yeah, she’s reeeeeally going to hate this place.

“I hate it,” she whispers. My lips pull up. “I knew you would.”

“Please don’t try to help,” she says. “You’ve done enough.”

Ain’t that the fucking truth. The mess I made in her suitcase is nothing in comparison to what I’ve done to her — to us. I mean, fuck, she wouldn’t even answer a simple question because she thought I’d use it to taunt her.

“If I wear it tonight, I won’t have anything to wear to our fake wedding.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I mutter.

Maybe I should draft a new one that just reads: THIS IS A REAL MARRIAGE.

I could propose to her tonight when we get home. But if I give her an option, she might say no. Fuck. If I get down on one knee in front of this woman and she flat-out says no to me. .

She finally finishes hanging up the dresses and a few blouses that also need to be ironed. I’m really kicking myself for this right now. I fucking loathe ironing, but it’ll show her that I care, so I’m going to do it.

“Welcome to the family.” I smile politely, wondering if I should say the same to him. I don’t.

WHEEZING

“I know it doesn’t feel like it because his anger overrides everything else, but he loves you so fucking much,” he says. “He spent three years looking for you and didn’t stop until he found you. He fucking gave up hockey to work for our dad. For you.”

The only reason he quit hockey was because he knew it was the only way he’d find you.”

The reason he’s dead-set on going back to Fairview isn’t just revenge. It’s to get rid of anything that stands in the way of us being together, and since he knows that’s the only thing holding me back, he’s. . .Holy. Fucking. Shit. He gave up hockey for me. For me.

“He can’t do that. He can’t give up hockey for me,” I whisper.

“Lyla.” Liam sets down his glass and gives me a sympathetic smile. “My brother would give up his inheritance, hockey, kidneys, and testicles if it meant he’d have you. I wish that was hyperbole, but it’s the truth.”

He gave up the thing he’s loved since he was a kid. For me. To find me. He made amends with his absent father to find me.

You needed to know, though. The man you love is still in there,” Liam says. “I know he is.”

For him, I would have lawyered up and gone back to Fairview. For him, I would have let them mock me and call me all sorts of names.