Claimed by the Cthulhu (Monstrous Meet Cutes #2)

by Wendi Guff

When I make my way to the beach, there's a small boat full of a dozen or so male Cthulhu. They wave at me, dressed in their shirts and shorts, drinks in their hands. In contrast, I'm as naked as the day I hatched.

“Cthulhu men can detach their cocks. The suction at the bottom then can attach to someone else. In the olden days, males would fight to spawn with the “best” female, often ending up in an orgy to inseminate her. Males who couldn’t get close enough would detach their kotilos, throwing them into the mass of bodies. The mating appendage would seek out the female, work to fertilize her eggs first, and then return to the male’s body.”

WHAT THE ACTUAL F

I picture her coming on my kotilo, and I howl into the night as I spill my seed in her hand.

HOWL? what are you a fish wolf

This woman isn't helping the human myth that blondes have a lesser IQ.

mine is dropping with every right key i hit.

If you leave with me, we can explore more from last night—we can conduct some experiments.” Damn him! He’s appealing to the nerd inside of me.

no one, hear me loud NO ONE, thinks like this

The thing is like a little monster on its own, a tyrant king demanding what it wants—and His Hardness wants Marea.

Holding Thea in my arms, I remember that I’m naked. She points to the sky, talking about the stars, and I use her distraction to detach my kotilo and suction it at my back.

I turn back to the ocean to swim home, hearing the human male gasp, and I remember my kotilo suctioned to my back. Now he thinks Cthulhu have spine cocks.

why do we need this

But I don't have time to jerk off, so I do the next best thing. I yank my cock off, slam it into the top drawer of my dresser, and lock it.

The cyclops nods. “Scary thing, the past. It's like the poltergeist of our minds that we can't exorcise.”

I scowl, pushing him back. “You're such a clam jam!”

what in the middle school phrases is this

kotilo.

this word is said 89 times in this book. WHY

“Um, did you just change color?” “Yes. Cthulhu do that when they're angry or ready to mate. It's a sign that we want to fight or fuck.”

Praise Jesus, the man knows how to use a tongue suction cup. What else? How do suckers feel in your thatched cottage?” “Almost as good as the ones in the shed behind it.”

why is this a thing. why am i reading this.

Patience is a scientist’s virtue.

said no one ever

“I bet the scientist in you is dying to know.” “Are you talking about me or Chaos—you know, since he was a scientist in me.”

“Not with another person, but I’ve fucked my ass with my kotilo until I came.

“No, pop it off from your body, but leave it inside of me.” Holy hotness. “O-ok,” I stammer, trying to dislodge his cock from my outer pussy.