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May 2 - May 5, 2023
I should’ve stuck by my own rules—kept her at arm’s length. But instead, I let her take up residence inside my chest, gave her everything I had to give, and when she left, she took my heart with her.
“Ten minutes?” he asks, and I nod. “See, that’s where we differ. You only need ten minutes with me, but I needed the rest of my life with you.”
“I thought Hayes doesn’t do commitment,” Riley murmurs. Mali hums amusedly. “He did for her.”
“There’s a part of me that still loves you,” I say honestly. “There’s always going to be a part of me that still loves you. But right now, there’s a part of me that wants to hate you, and I’m not sure which is stronger.”
“Just do me a favor?” “Anything,” she replies, and I know she means that. “Don’t go anywhere until I figure it out.”
“So, that’s her, huh?” she asks. “The girl who made it so you don’t believe in love anymore?”
“I believe in love,” I say simply. “I just don’t believe in it with anyone but her.”
“I don’t hate you, baby,” I whisper. “I just hate that I wasn’t enough.”
“Man, really? I specifically ordered the ones with the loyalty feature on them! Those lying bitches.”
Because that’s what she’s been for me—a pretty poison. She runs through my veins and attacks every inch of me, making it so I can think of nothing and no one but her.
If I have gray hairs, it’s because I married half of this generation’s Thelma and Louise.
“Please, God,” I beg as the tears start to fall. “Please don’t take her from me. Give her back. I just want her back.”
She breathes the life right back into me. There’s nothing else in the world that matters.
Luck has a way of rarely being on my side, but I think that’s only because I must’ve spent it all on her. Laiken Rose Wilder is the best part of my day. She’s my present, my past, and my future, and because of that, I’ll never regret a single thing. All the times I stumbled and thought it couldn’t get any worse, only to be proven wrong—it was all worth it because it brought us here.
I will spend the rest of my life being incomprehensibly in love with her. And if there’s a life after this one, I’ll go to the ends of the earth to find her again, because her soul and mine are two halves of a whole. There’s no me without her.
