A Shot of Pretty Poison (Pretty Poison Trilogy #3)

by Kelsey Clayton

“The difference between him and me is that he left his family. Mine left me.”

“Hayes,” I call. He stops, throwing his head back as he turns around. “What do you want, Laiken?” “What I’ve wanted since I was fifteen,” I answer. “You.” My words catch him slightly off guard and his brows furrow. “That’s the thing, Lai. You had me. I was all fucking in. But you threw that away.” “I know, but if you would just listen—“ “No,” he cuts me off. “I was willing to listen before you left. Before I woke up to find you gone. All I wanted to do back then was listen. But now? I don’t want to hear it. It’s too late, Laiken.” I wonder if he knows how his words cut me like knives. Or if he even cares. Not that I would hold it against him if he didn’t, but the guy I knew hated hurting me more than anything. And here he is, doing nothing but hurting me. “Please,” I beg. “Ten minutes. That’s all I need.” “Ten minutes?” he asks, and I nod. “See, that’s where we differ. You only need ten minutes with me, but I needed the rest of my life with you.”

“There’s a part of me that still loves you,” I say honestly. “There’s always going to be a part of me that still loves you. But right now, there’s a part of me that wants to hate you, and I’m not sure which is stronger.” She sniffles, wiping away her tears and nodding. “I get that. I do.” I get up from the table and put my fist on it. “Just do me a favor?” “Anything,” she replies, and I know she means that. “Don’t go anywhere until I figure it out.” There’s a glint of hope in her eyes, and the corners of my mouth raise slightly before I walk away. As I go back behind the bar, I see Riley watching me sadly. “So, that’s her, huh?” she asks. “The girl who made it so you don’t believe in love anymore?” I let myself look at Laiken for a moment before I answer, feeling the way I still crave her like an addiction that never seems to fully go away. “I believe in love,” I say simply. “I just don’t believe in it with anyone but her.”

“This is mine,” I growl, moving my hand slowly. “I don’t care if you’re here, or a thousand miles away pretending I don’t exist. It’s fucking mine.”

“Fuck,” I moan. “I want to spend every day buried inside of you like this. You pussy is the only place I belong.” She pants heavily. “Only mine.”

“Only yours,” I tell her, and it’s not a lie.

“You look so fucking good like that.” I watch as my cock disappears inside of her and she rubs her ass against me. “Goddamn.” “Fuck me,” she begs. “Hard. I want to feel you every time I move.”

“Come for me, Laiken,” I tell her. “Let me feel you explode all over me.”

“This pussy is mine, Laiken,” I roar. “Fucking mine.”

“I don’t hate you, baby,” I whisper. “I just hate that I wasn’t enough.”

A sob rips through Laiken. Her hand flies up to her mouth as she tries to hold it in, but there’s no use. It forces its way out and breaks her down in the process. All of this is catching up to her, and she has spent so long being strong, but she can’t anymore. “Lai,” Mali says sadly, trying to hold her. I can’t focus on what I’m doing as I watch the girl that I love fall back to exactly how she was right before she left. Cam comes over and takes the dustpan from me. “What?” He nods toward Laiken. “Go to her.” But I can’t. “It’s fine. Mali has her.” “You and I both know it’s not Mali she needs right now.” He takes the garbage bag out of my hand. “You’re going to be useless until she’s okay anyway, so there’s no point of fighting me on it.” I fucking hate when he’s right.

And I don’t feel like being a gentleman. She’s standing in front of the stairs as I step up behind her, pressing my front against her back. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” Her breath hitches. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Sure you do,” I murmur. “You’re thinking about how we stood right here as I bent you over and buried myself inside of you.” Putting my hands on her shoulders, I spin us around so she’s facing the kitchen. “And when you look at that island, you picture the way I sat you on it and ate you out until you screamed.”

glide my hand down her arm, and her head falls back against my chest. Her breathing quickens. From this angle, I can see right down her shirt, and I am dying to get my mouth on her. “Imagine if we went upstairs,” I tease. “The things you’d remember then.” She finds her nerve and turns around, using all the force she can manage to push me away. “You walked out last time and left me standing there half naked in a storage room.” Yeah, I should’ve known she was going to throw that back in my face. But even with the angry look in her eyes, I smirk. “I did,” I admit. “And you walked out and left me sound asleep in our bed, hopeful for the first time in weeks.” “I’ve apologized for that. Multiple times.” I look her up and down, taking my time as I admire every gorgeous inch of her, but God, she’s infuriating. “So, what? You want me to apologize?” A growl rumbles in the back of her throat at the sarcastic tone of my voice. She looks like she wants to fight me, but instead, she walks closer and jumps into my arms. I catch her with my hands on her ass as her legs wrap around my waist. “No,” she says. “I want you to fuck me.” Now that I can do. Pressing her against the wall, I crash my lips into hers. She drags her nails up my back as our tongues meet in the middle. I swear, I could get off just from the taste of her. She arches

I grip her waist and she jumps into my arms again before I carry her over to the fireplace. One of the reasons I bought this house was because of her love for that damn mantel. Well, let’s see how much she loves it now.

She squeals as I lift her up and sit her on top of it. “Hayes, this thing is going to break.” “I don’t give a fuck,” I growl. Before she can argue further, I go for exactly what I’ve been craving—getting my mouth on her pussy. She lets out a moan that puts porn stars to shame as I slide my tongue over her, sucking her clit into my mouth. Her legs drape over my shoulders and her thighs press against the sides of my head. “Holy shit,” she breathes. “I’ve missed that mouth.” It’s been too long since I’ve gotten to eat her out. If we could spend the rest of the night doing only this, I’d be completely okay with it. I don’t care how tired my tongue would get. It would be worth it just to keep tasting her and listening to the way she screams when she comes on my tongue.

I pucker my lips and suck on her clit in the way that drives her crazy, and when I moan against her, the vibration makes her whole body jolt. She grips onto my hair and pulls me against her. Her head falls back as she gives in to the pleasure, until the mantel starts to creak. “H, it’s going to break,” she says. But I haven’t had enough of her yet. “Relax. I’ve got you.” I shove two fingers inside of her, pumping them in and out as I bring her that much closer to the e...

“I want to eat nothing but you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” I tell her. “Fuck you for keepin...

“Did you ever end up getting on birth control?” I grit out. She shakes her head. “But fuck it. Do it anyway.”

God, I want to. I’d love nothing more than to fill her up right now. To see my cum drip from her pussy from being filled to the brim. Fucking hell, even the thought of my sperm swimming inside of her makes me want it. But at the last second, I force myself to pull out. My abs clench as I stroke my cock, watching spurts of white shoot out and land between her legs. It’s not the same, but it’s the closest alternative, and it’s still so fucking hot.

“Hayes,” Laiken sighs. She carefully takes my phone out of my hand and puts it down. “Talk to me. Please.” My gaze meets hers, and I hate the way she’s looking at me. Fragile is not a word anyone would ever use to describe me, but with her, I feel like I could shatter at any moment. After she left, I tried to put myself back together, but it was always an impossible task. So, I faked it.

I forced a smile on my face in front of everyone who mattered, and I drank with my friends, pretending I was having a good time. But with her standing here now, staring back at me like she can see right into my soul, I know it was all a damn lie. I’m not okay. There hasn’t been a point since she left that I was.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” “What you’re thinking,” she suggests. “How you’re feeling.” I’m thinking you’re going to break me into a million pieces, and I’m feeling like the floor is going to fall out from under me at any possible second. “How long is the studio letting you work remotely?” Her brows furrow. “We haven’t really talked about it, why?” I shrug. “Just wondering how much longer you’re going to be here before you go back to your perfect new life.” “That’s what this is about?” she asks. “Hayes, I’m here. Right here. Don’t you get that?” “Yeah,” I huff. “I do. I also get that you have everything you’ve ever wanted back at your house with Nolan. The fun roommate you can go out partying with. The dream job. You’ve got it all.” “No,” she tells me. “I don’t! Because you’re not there!” “Maybe that’s it!” I shout. “Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe your life is so fucking great there because I’m not in it? Face it, Laiken. You’re better off without me.” She shakes h...

“Urgh! You’re so fucking…urgh!” She lets go and rests her hands on the counter. “I’m not going to stand here and listen to you insinuate that you’re bad for me! That’s bullshit, and you fucking know it!” “Who knows. Maybe I do,” I say, sounding completely defeated. “Or maybe I’m just mentally preparing for the inevitable day that you leave again.” “...

“I don’t want to lose you,” she nearly whispers. It chips another piece right off my heart, but it’s fine. I’m used to it. I shrug dejectedly. “I didn’t want to lose you either.”

“Fine,” Hayes says after a moment, but there’s venom in his tone. “Let’s say those two cancel each other out. We’re even on that front.”

“Protecting me justifies why you left,” he sneers. “But go ahead and try to justify how you left. Tell me what makes it okay that you walked out on me the same fucking way my dad did.” I stop breathing. Oh. My. God.

But I didn’t realize I was taking one of the worst things that’s ever happened to him and repeating it. “H,” I cry.

“She’s coming to stay with me, and I don’t want to hear a goddamn word about it,” I tell them. Cam looks to Laiken for her approval, and he gets it when she nods. I step closer to her and put my hands on her cheeks, lifting her head so I can get a good look at the wound. The paramedics already cleaned it up but it still looks pretty bad. Which means I can only imagine what it looked like before. “Are you okay?” She stares up at me. “I don’t know.”

Fucking hell. She starts to get upset again, and no amount of fear could stop me from wrapping my arms around her right now. “Come here,” I say, pulling her against me while being careful not to hurt her. “We’ll figure it out. Okay? You’re safe. I promise.”

“After I left—when I met Nolan and moved in with her—I was a bit…sexually frustrated. But I didn’t even want to look at anyone else, let alone sleep with them, so I used a vibrator…a lot.”

“Wait, go back,” I demand. “To what part?”

“When you said that you didn’t even want to look at anyone else.” She looks at me like she doesn’t understand. “What about it?” My mouth goes dry as I stare back at her. “Y-you didn’t…?”

“Hayes,” she says softly. “The thought of being with anyone but you made me physically ill. There’s no one else out there for me. You’re the only guy I’ve ever slept with, and I don’t have any intentions of ever changing that.”

As I’m not able to put my feelings into words, I decide on a different path. Taking her face in my hands, I crash my lips into hers—trying my best to put every last ounce of emotion into it.

It takes her a second to catch up, but then she melts into me as I kiss her with everything I have. She’s still mine. Only ever mine.

The feeling I’ve been missing is this. It’s him. As I take a deep breath, the words I’ve been itching to tell him slip from my mouth. “I love you.”

I know he doesn’t trust me, and he has good reason, but until now, I’ve never truly questioned if he loves me. And I can’t do this if there’s any doubt. “H,” I say, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand out. The look on his face tells me that he knows exactly why I stopped him. His head drops and he focuses all his attention on the floor—unable to look back at me. And somehow, that makes it worse. “Oh my God,” I breathe, choking up. His head lifts, and there’s something in his eyes, but it only makes things worse.

“Lai, I…” But his words die out in the air once more. I can feel my heart cracking down the center as I stare back at him. “Do you not love me anymore?” He exhales, running his fingers through his hair. “You know I do.”

“Then why can’t you say it?” His mouth opens and closes, and the longer he goes without saying anything at all, the more it chips away at me. This is the man who dropped down on one knee only feet from where we’re standing right now, and sounded so confident as he told me he was going to spend the rest of his life loving me. And now he can’t bring himself to form the words. He stays quiet, silently speaking my every fear into existence. I really did ruin this. I destroyed us. It doesn’t matter that my intentions were good or that my heart was in the right place. What matters is that I hurt him to the point where our relationship, our marriage, may not be salvageable after all. “I can’t—“ I try to speak but a sob rips right through me. Gently m...

“Every fucking ounce of your pleasure belongs to me,” he growls. “Get that through your head because it’s not fucking changing.”

“Thank you,” she says. I smile back at her and nod toward the beach. “Come for a walk with me?”

“So, I found something out today,” I tell her. She looks up at me. “Oh?” I stop walking, turning her to face me. “You quit your job at the studio?”

Her eyes fall closed as she sighs. “Mali, I swear to God. Nothing is sacred anymore.” “I don’t get it though. Why would you quit?” She shrugs. “They wanted me to come back to working in person, which wasn’t something I was willing to do.” My heart is racing as I stare at her in complete awe. “But that job is your dream.” “No, H,” she says softly, looking right into my eyes, “You are my dream.” The widest grin I’ve had in the last year and a half forces its way through. I reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear then graze my thumb over her cheek as I lean in. We meet in the middle, and the kiss we share warms me from the inside out. It’s slow and delicate, like we’re both just enjoying the feeling of being close to each other.

“I want you to know that I’m yours,” I tell her. “There’s still a lot that I’m working through, but I don’t want to lose you. It’s not going to be easy, but I want to be with you. I want the future we talked about.” Relief washes over her as she smiles back at me. “That’s all I want.”

kiss her again, unable to help myself. I can’t believe she gave up the job she’s wanted since she was a kid just to stay here with me. Here I was thinking that she was going to leave me again to go back, and that was never even on the table. We start to walk back to the party, but there’s still a question on my mind. “Why didn’t you tell me you quit?” She takes our conjoined hands and moves so that my arm is around her and she’s pressed against my side. “I didn’t want you to think that I was pressuring you into forgiving me. You need to do that on your own terms, not mine.” I turn my head and press a kiss into her hair. “Thank you.” “For what?” she asks. “Not giving up on us.” Just before we get back to all our friends, she stops and turns to face me. “It’s always been you for me, H. That won’t ever change.”

While she was gone, I spent more time watching our wedding video than I’d like to admit. So, I immediately recognize the last two lines of her vows, and hearing her repeat them back to me now, it’s everything I never knew I neede...

She and Mali start bantering back and forth with their little sarcastic digs they tend to throw at each other. But I’m too busy thinking of a way I can show her that I’m serious, and an idea comes to mind. I put my hand on Laiken’s leg and tap three times, just like we used to do. I. Love. You. Because I do love her. I’ve never loved anyone but her. I might still be working on being able to say it again, but she needs to know that I do. She notices it immediately and turns to smile at me. I wrap my arms around her and she leans back, putting her lips next to my ear. “I love you, too.”

“Happy birthday, baby,” I say, smiling as she lights up at the term of endearment. “I’m glad you’re celebrating it where you belong.”

“Pretty Poison?” I throw my head back as I laugh. It’s her own drink, really—Malibu rum, pineapple juice, cranberry juice, and a splash of orange juice. It’s been her specialty for years. And when we were coming up with the menu, the name just felt fitting. Because that’s what she’s been for me—a pretty poison. She runs through my veins and attacks every inch of me, making it so I can think of nothing and no one but her.

“I was trying to end this. You’re trying to take on so much, and you claim you’re fine, but I know you’re not. I just want you to be okay.” I take her face into my hands and stare into her eyes. “Laiken, if something happens to you, I will never be okay again.”