Up in Flames

by Eden Finley

“You’re not stupid. You’re an amazing EMT. You save lives. You have a big heart. You’ve been through some things, sure, but it’s not going to beat you because you’re incredible, Remy. You’re so many things, but stupid isn’t one of them, sweetheart.”

“Eh. Maybe I’ll be the pushover parent.” He throws me a wink. “You can be the one fighting over homework and handing out the groundings.” It’s such a stupid thing to joke about, but I push down my smile and force a serious expression. “You’d never survive them without me.”

When I think of Sanden, I think of happiness.

Remy turns to me and smiles. It still takes my fucking breath away.

“Ah, but you see, I’m one of a kind. The most amazing human there ever was. Selfless, heroic.” “Humble?” “That too. Basically, I’m the perfect specimen of a man, and you’re in so much trouble when it comes to me.”

“I’m actually beginning to think that’s the truest statement to ever statement,” my heart damn near explodes. “I really am in trouble with you.”

“Now, I could be wrong, but someone seems excited to see me.” “And someone else couldn’t wait in his car.” “I didn’t want to prolong the moment you were in my presence again.”

I think … for me, it’s all about time. Having it and giving it. It’s finite, you know? You can’t buy more. If someone gives you theirs, that’s important.”

“Nice turn signal, fuckface.” Not going to lie, road rage Remy is adorable. “I love how impatient you are for me.” “I’m not being impatient. The people in front obviously can’t drive.”

“It’s okay. It’s only a dent.” “I’ll pay for it.” “No, you won’t. I want to keep it.” He narrows his eyes at me. “Every time I see it, I’ll remember that you were so excited for my cock that you broke my car.”

I’ve never met someone like you. You make me feel things. Things I’ve never felt before.” “What kind of things?” Remy leans in and kisses my cheek. “Warm.”

Physically, emotionally, he has it. Every part of me.

Your energy, being around you, I crave it. More than I’ve ever craved anyone. I want to be near you, Sanden. Always near you. Close. And not even sexually, which, hey, I want that too. But I’m not used to that being the second thing I think about when it comes to a man I like.”

“I’m going to fuck you here, then when you’re close, I’m going to fuck you over every inch of my bed. And you’re not going to come until I’ve finished with you. Understand?” “Yes. Now, grab my throat and say all that again,” I whine.

“Don’t you want to see my hole?” “See it. Finger it. Eat it. Fuck it. There are way too many things I want to do with your hole, and I hate that I can’t do them all at once.” “Wow, way to sound like a quitter.” “Yeah?” A spark hits his eyes as he lines up his cock again. “We’ll see who’s begging to tap out by the end.”

This is everything I never knew I was missing. Someone being with me. Wholly. Completely. Like this, there isn’t a single other person who matters in the world outside of us.

Sex makes me dumb. So really, this is your fault.” “I’ll take that blame and wear it like a badge of honor. I could wear a sign: Sorry Remy can’t hold a conversation, I just made him come.”

“Let’s get you fed and then fresh before I maul you right here next to my car.” “We could get the romantic trifecta, then. Morning sex, STD exam, arrested for indecent exposure.” “What can I say? I like giving my partners an adventure.”

I’m always with him, and I don’t actually want to be anywhere else. When we’re not together, I can’t settle. Anxiousness vibrates under my skin. I’m desperate for him. Always. There’s something about him that soothes me. Settles me, somehow. At the same time, the need I have for him only grows.

“I’ll kill you! I’ll burn this whole fucking apartment block down, is that what you want, huh? If you think I’m letting you two make a fool of me, you’re wrong! Do you hear me, assholes? Count those last fucking breaths!”

“Fuck you!” Eman shouts. “I’m not the one in the wrong here! You gonna tell them how you drove me to this? All the shit you did wrong? You’re mine, Remy. You said yes to marrying me. And now you’re making out like I’m the monster. I’ll fucking kill you both!”

All I wanted to do was talk to you. If you’d just faced me like a man, you could have avoided all of this. Now look at the mess you’ve made. You want them to arrest me, Remy? Will that make you happy? To finish ruining my life?”

I don’t want to be his savior because after witnessing him stand up for himself, I know he’s strong enough to push through, but I want to be his support. I want to help lift him up and get his life back together.

When I’m around him, things settle. I feel safe, like I can never get enough of him.

When it comes to him. Sanden is the best person I know. He makes me feel incredible, like I can handle anything.

“We …” I swallow again, but my throat is thick and sticky. “We started this thing really quickly, and I … we …” I force myself to inhale. “It’s not our time,” he whispers.

“I’ve waited over three years, and I’ll wait ten more if I have to. You’re worth it, and you need this. And I will always give you what you need.”

“So it’s … like we’re hitting pause?” “Yeah.” His thumb brushes my cheek. “Pause. We’ve both got a lot of shit to work out, and once we do, we can try this thing again. For real this time.”

“I lied.” He looks up at me, confusion across his face, and that’s when I let myself crumble. “I’ve lied about so much. Why I became a firefighter. Why I still do it. But most of all, I lied when I said I was okay.” Tears hit my cheeks. “I’m so not okay.”

What if I have to sit here one day, looking at Sanden and a man who actually deserves him? How the hell will I survive that? How the hell do I ask him to wait when that’s exactly what Sanden deserves? His person. A whole person.

“Are you back? Please tell me you’re back. Rina is a terrible partner. She doesn’t shut up,” Gabe cries. Rina flips him off, and I laugh. “Hey, I know how that feels.” And now my work husband is hitting me. “That’s assault,” I complain. “The assault is on my sanity,” Gabe grumbles.

Gabe groans. “You really are never coming back.” I know he’s joking, and I’m thankful for it because this serious moment needs a shred of light. “And for that, when I do come back, I’m asking for a new partner.” “You wouldn’t dare.” I grin. “You’re right. I hate that you are, but you’re right.”

Outside of me and Aleks, you were the cutest couple I knew.” “Yeah, but how many couples do you know?” “A lot, I’ll have you know. But … they consist of manchild hockey players and my ridiculous best friend, so I admit the bar wasn’t high.”

Man child hockey players 🤭🤣, i can think of so many

“Okay, I’m unsure how to deal with this Sanden.” “Because I share now?” “Yes. And I can’t tell if you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on.” “I’ll never say no to one of your hugs.” The moment I say that, Gabe’s boyfriend comes back from the bathroom. “Or one of Aleks’s.” I wink at Aleks. “I missed you, boo.” Aleks laughs.

Now, if we don’t work out for whatever reason, it will gut me, but I’d make it through. Because you don’t make me a person.” I nuzzle his jaw. “You just make me a better one.” “Ooh, Remy got wise.”

I’m going to show him every day that he’s it for me. I’m going to put in the work and make him happy and give him everything he needs because I have zero doubts that he plans to do the same for me. No more constantly taking. From now on, partners. Always.

No matter the setbacks, we were made for each other.

“You feel so fucking good,” he says, voice strangled with emotion. “I will never get over being able to have you. Never.”

I love this, and I love him. It’s not a question anymore.

“Finally.” He huffs. “Ah … what do you mean?” I can’t look at Sanden, or I’ll break into giggles. “Everyone thinks this bathroom is out of order.” He pins us both with a look. “I hope you washed your hands.” Then he stalks away, and I can’t hold it in. Sanden and I collapse against each other, laughing.

He’s so goddamn gorgeous he lights up every bone in my body.

Someone has stitched our 911 recording over the top of Eman’s whining, and there are thousands of comments and shares about how Eman is obviously the real abuser. I don’t know where or how they got the recording, but I also don’t care.

Wait, this guy’s wedding was supposedly in August? I met him at a bar in July, he fucked me and then left. I didn’t even get off.

I would want nothing more than to have Remy walk down an aisle where I’m waiting at the other end. After Eman, I wouldn’t make him wait around. I’d be there at fucking dawn so he’d know I was going to show up. That I would always show up for him.

Anyway, I’m wondering if you’re taking anyone to fill those season tickets of yours.” “Nah, I wasn’t even going to go myself tonight. Too sick, and hockey is slow and boring as it is.” “You are a disgrace to the Crosby last name, and you should be stripped of it immediately.” “Ugh, you sound like Aleks.” “It’s because we’re soul—” “Don’t fucking say it.”

You’ve made me realize that having a partner isn’t about end goals. It’s about making each other’s life fun. It’s going through experiences together. Growing together. And there’s no time frame on when or how we have to get there.” “It’s the journey that counts.” “Exactly.” Remy’s hazel eyes meet mine. “And I’m so glad I get to spend my journey with you.” “I couldn’t agree more.”

Gabe and I have gotten really close. Aleks too. Every off-season, the four of us plan a trip together somewhere and try to catch up once a week if all of our schedules line up. I have friends outside of Sanden, which was one of my main priorities, but those two feel like family to me.

“If you even need an answer to that, I’m going to have to do better at this whole relationship thing.” His nose runs along my jaw to my neck. “You don’t need a ring to own me, sweetheart. But I sure as fuck want to wear one for you.”

“But we’re getting you your Sex on the Beach, and then we’re actually going down to have sex on the beach.” “Excuse you, sir, I’m an engaged man.” I bat his chest. “But I refuse to have sex again until I’m doing it with my husband.”

“You make me so happy,” I whisper. “That’s literally all I’ve ever wanted for you. And now I get to make you happy for the rest of our lives.”