I Didn't Know I Needed This: The New Rules for Flirting, Feeling, and Finding Yourself—An Unfiltered Relationship Manual with Candid Insights, Embrace the Chaos of Modern Dating

by Eli Rallo

It isn’t cringe if you have a wonderful experience or a hilarious story to tell.

In my life, I know I’d be okay if I never experienced romantic love in any sort of long-term capacity—because I have enough platonic love to keep me afloat forever.

The great thing about a first date is that there’s two plausible outcomes: either you walk away with a story to tell your friends or a second date.

The reality is, nobody is perceiving you with the intensity you think they might be. I promise you, we are all thinking of ourselves approximately one thousand times more than other people are thinking of us. We are selfish beings. You’re not thinking of the person who believes you’re thinking of them, and vice versa.

I choose to believe that every rejection is the universe redirecting me, pushing me down a well-lit corridor where, just around the corner, lies my destiny. And

Your dream life is going to knock softly on your door one day and wake you up from your sleep. You just have to be willing to open the door and invite it in.

Just because a relationship ends or doesn’t work out doesn’t mean it was a failure or a waste of time. It’s still a lesson. It’s a part of the journey.

But that was a story I was writing for myself. I held the pen and ink. It was my mind that was coming up with all the little thoughts that convinced me that I was unlovable. So I could also get the whiteout. I could get the eraser, and I could start with a clean page. I could rewrite the story I told myself.

Play kind of girl by Muna

You always have the ability to start rewriting. To make the end turn out a little differently. That’s only something you can do for yourself.

Assume your heart will heal. Assume the person you lost wasn’t right for you. Assume there’s someone better. Better for you. Better for the love you require.

But the unfortunate truth is that nobody can give us closure—not even a partner we dated for five years, or a best friend we knew our whole life. It isn’t their job, or their responsibility, to give us closure. It’s something we have to gift ourselves.

I’ve always liked to have a small group here or there, but have my friends spread out—reflective of me, someone who feels like she’s always been a little eclectic, a little colorful, a little eccentric.

Time is like music except there’s no option to skip and no option to shuffle.

Where is the LinkedIn post that says, “I’m proud to admit I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing or who the fuck I want to be?”