Heartburn

by Nora Ephron

and had gotten to the point where I simply could not make a bad vinaigrette, this was not exactly the stuff of drama. (Even now, I cannot believe Mark would want to risk losing that vinaigrette. You just don’t bump into vinaigrettes that good.)

“Then why are you shouting at me?” I said. “Because you’re the only one who’s here,” said Mark.

but sometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late.

Maybe he’s dead, I thought. That wouldn’t solve everything, but it would solve a few things. He wasn’t, of course. They never are. When you want them to die, they never do.

Vera said: “Why do you feel you have to turn everything into a story?” So I told her why: Because if I tell the story, I control the version. Because if I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me.