Most Ardently

by Gabe Cole Novoa

It was a special thing, to have one’s reflection in harmony with who they were.

“I just don’t believe any of us should have to accept circumstances that will stand in the way of our happiness,”

It would destroy him, he was sure, if not physically then spiritually. And what kind of life could one have with a crushed soul?

He wished it could be like this all the time. More than anything else, this was what he wanted. To be himself, in the open, unabashedly. It could be so easy, but the world made it so difficult.

Part of him didn’t care if someone noticed his absence. Part of him wanted to be discovered, to be seen. He was so exhausted of pretending, of putting everyone else’s needs before his own. He was tired of trying to make everyone else happy, to his own detriment.

He knew now there would never be a good time, never be a right time. There would always be a reason to wait, to put it off, to torture himself just a day longer. He could survive today. He could survive tomorrow. But a lifetime of pretending he couldn’t abide.