The Golem of Brooklyn

by Adam Mansbach

Len felt himself swell with what he imagined was a Golem-like rage. “If you try to tell me how many deciliters it is,” he said, “I will murder you.” He pointed at The Golem. “How fucking high is he?” “I have no idea,” said Waleed. “I don’t know anything about his body composition. Or his drug history. Or his psychological state. Or what the fuck he is.” “I made him out of clay,” said Len. Waleed considered that for a moment, then said, “That’s one big fucking dreidel.”

“You have to promise that if by some miracle I’m able to get Larry David to talk to you, you’ll actually do what he says.” “That shlimazel promise.” The Golem waved a slab-like arm at Len. “He could say to stick whole head up dickhead’s ass.” Len looked disgusted. “Why would he do that?” “The Golem not know what kind of weird shit Larry David into.”