Blender Babies
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Read between September 5 - September 11, 2025
3%
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To their right, SWAT trucks and patrol cars cluttered every aisle of the parking lots surrounding a local hospital. Police officers and SWAT teams maneuvered between the civilian vehicles in the parking spaces. They were all armed with semiautomatic rifles and led by cops wielding ballistic shields. Police blocked all of the entrances and exits to the parking lots.
alex :p
giving birdbox x WWZ
10%
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So, why is that baby in that blender?” “Because he’s a... a blender baby.”
alex :p
...
20%
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However, updates stopped after several prominent politicians were discovered to be addicted to blender babies.
alex :p
tracks
21%
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“Where’s Leigh?”
alex :p
i knew i didnt trust this mf!
25%
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Baby-fiends emerged from behind every tree in the park and stood from the lawns. They had been crawling through the grass and hiding behind the trees to avoid detection, waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack. They were frenzied but organized—hungry but tactical.
alex :p
oh hell nah
31%
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The family kept moving, staying low and sticking to the shadows.
alex :p
badass family
34%
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But no one came.
alex :p
Okay, Undertale cameo !
36%
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bald scalp, no eyebrows, nothing. Excessive shaving left nicks—some fresh, some scabbed over—across his head.
alex :p
HE--HES BALD AND TORTURIBG PPL WITH HAIR
abby jett :p liked this
46%
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On her way, she smiled thinly as she snuck a look at Harper.
alex :p
theres something off abt her...
46%
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she couldn’t escape the sinking feeling deep in her stomach.
alex :p
womens intuition gurl!!!
47%
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“No, no, it–it can’t end like this. I haven’t had…”
alex :p
HAD WHAT HO?! A BLENDER BABY PERHAPS??!?!!
abby jett :p liked this
54%
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Brian aimed the shotgun at the stranger, but before he could pull the trigger, Amanda jumped in front of him with her arms outstretched. She lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug and said, “No hard feelings.”
alex :p
...this ho
68%
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You decimate her female lineage.
alex :p
Incel final boss
98%
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“Your Lordship,” a soft, raspy voice said from the shadows. “The traitor... he went this way.”
alex :p
OH MY GOD