Blender Babies

by Jon Athan

It translated to: ‘How cute!’

I cant help but hate how unnatural the added translations are.

“The baby… Gimme the baby, bitch… Gimme, gimme, gimme.”

Creepy from the get go.

“It’s the latest craze. It’s like a drug but better. Powerful like fentanyl. Homemade like krokodil. Natural like the miracle of life. It–It–It... It is life.”

I like the idea of an apocalypse brought on by an insane drug addiction, very refreshing for the genre.

“I can’t explain this to someone like you. You’ve never been in my shoes. Never seen the world through my eyes. Never understood me. And you never tried.”

Some people said it was, uh… popular with the ‘elite’ before it started to spread through social media and shit. I read all about it on the internet once, y’know? Look it up. You’ll see. Just don’t try it for yourself or… or you’ll end up like me.”

Then the bastard started cutting her open like–like... like he was dissecting a frog in biology class, man. I didn’t know what the hell he was doing back then but I know now. He was looking for a baby. But she wasn’t even pregnant.

You guys are comparing this to hunting and it’s fine if you see it that way, but I don’t. You call them ‘baby-fiends,’ I call them people.

People are the worst monsters to plague this Earth afterall.

He said that this thing was like a biological weapon. That China was trying to wipe out America by making us, y’know... eat our babies. I don’t believe him, though. I mean, I didn’t believe him. Why would this be happening in China if it was meant for us? What? Did they accidentally attack themselves, too?”

You know I was nervous when China was brought up alluding to COVID, but I am glad to see that ridiculous conspiracy thoroughly dismissed.

He had been saddened and disgusted by the news for a few minutes before another national tragedy broke his heart. Then another tragedy made headline news.

Yeah I hate doom scrolling too.

Coverage of bloody tragedies was normal in mainstream media. Bad news dominated the headlines to the point where it all started to blur together.

Maybe social media helped people spread their sickness. You remember seeing that ‘#babyfoodchallenge,’ right?

Social media is cancer

“Do you know what’s going on out there? Do any of you know what’s really happening? Because you look like you’re having a damn sleepover. Did you forget that we’re surrounded by psychotic junkies?”

“People don’t blend babies and drink their remains. People don’t slaughter and cannibalize each other for no reason. People don’t kidnap women and girls—little girls—and force them into baby factories. Yeah, that’s what they call them: baby factories. And that’s what they’re doing out there. You know that already, don’t you? I saw it all with my own eyes before I came here. I–I swear I did. I swear...”

And in that room, we found a hive. Those monsters had been holding kidnapped women against their will in there. They impregnated them by force. They raped them.

The baby-fiends—teenaged to middle-aged—dashed towards the police station, growling and laughing and screaming and whooping. Some of them ran on all fours.

Terrifying visual.

Dismayed, Brian continued watching everything from the door.

SO useless

“We should start in the cafeteria,

Ma'am could you be more obvious

“We’re not like them. As long as you don’t put us in danger, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Maybe you should Brian.

The world had changed with the Craze, though. Adrenochrome had turned people into bloodthirsty sadists.

QAnon nightmare

The facade known as the rule of law had crumbled, leaving only ruins of violence.

On the left armrest, he kept a can of Vanilla Coke, using the hand as a cupholder.

This explains everything. People who drink any of the flavored cokes are psychopaths. Vanilla Coke drinkers are especially heinous.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Lord of Flesh. I am... King... of this world. Ruler... of this lair. Eater... of all whores. You may address me as ‘Your Lordship’ or ‘King’ or ‘Sire.’

God incels are so extra

All men are welcome here, even the traitors—so long as they renounce their old ways and accept our beliefs. And what are our beliefs, you ask? Simple. All men are created equal... and all women are whores. Sacks of flesh for our pleasure... and our consumption. Brainless dolls for us to play with... and take apart. Slaves to our whim... and incubators of our seed. We—you and I and him and him and him—are everything. They are nothing.”

He really is an incel lmao, even during an apocalypse Manosphere bros still simper after some weird fit dude

How did you know I have an affinity for vengeance? I can’t get enough of it. Even before this whole Craze started, I was spearheading a crusade against mankind’s greatest detriment: Women. They had shunned and abused men like us for ages. It was time for us to return that abuse tenfold. No! A hundred-fold!”

Oh my godddddddd hahaha

“What? You’d open your legs for Chads and alphas but not me?

Honestly the Lord of Flesh greatly increased my enjoyment of this novel, I had no idea I was going to get such good satire

he crouched, picked up the severed clitoris, then flung it into the crowd behind him. Five guys jumped for it. One of them caught it in his mouth like a dog catching a treat.

Gruesome comedy gold

Then he thought about his daughter and remembered his wife’s bellows of agony in the tunnels. The baby-fiends were more than willing to hurt him and his family. He had no option but to continue fighting fire with fire. Violence begot violence.

“This addiction, this sickness... It’s like living the same nightmare on repeat. Groundhog Day, y’know? It repeats for so long that we just stop fighting it. I don’t want to hurt this precious, beautiful princess. I don’t want to kill all those babies or women. It’s just... automatic. It’s in my DNA now. It’s too late for me. Too late for this world.”

Brian stopped with his hand on the gun, crouched in front of his brother. He didn’t see a cruel, sadistic hive leader anymore. He saw his younger sibling.

Okay the tale of two brothers got me

He remembered the many times Tommy had cried to him: when he wanted to kill himself after enduring relentless bullying in high school, when he was kicked out of their house for dealing drugs out of the garage, when he was revived at a hospital after an overdose, when he needed a job after getting fired for abusing narcotics.

Behind him, the victims’ shrieking, the fire’s crackling and popping, and the building’s creaking and rumbling blended in a song of tragedy.

Heavy hitter