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God is concerned with the heart—the well-spring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Parents tend to focus on the externals of behavior rather than the internal overflow of the heart.
When parenting short-circuits to behavior we miss the opportunity to help our kids understand that straying behavior displays a straying heart.
Children are spring-loaded for worship. One of the most important callings God has given parents is to display the greatness, goodness, and glory of the God for whom they are made.
unusual. By age ten to twelve, scores of children have already left home.
I refer to numbers of children who, by age ten to twelve, have effectively left Mom or Dad as an authority or reference point for their lives.
Many people have children, but do not want to be parents.
The notion of quality time is more attractive than the old idea of quantity time.
Children raised in this climate no longer sit in neat rows in school. They no longer ask permission to speak. They no longer fear the consequences of talking back to their parents. They do not accept a submis-sive role in life.
God’s ways have not proved inadequate; they are simply untried.
The parenting task is multifaceted. It involves being a kind authority, shepherding your children to understand themselves in God’s world, and keeping the gospel in clear view so your children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you as people under God.
You must not be embarrassed to be authorities for your children.
You may not direct your children for your own agenda or convenience. You must direct your children on God’s behalf for their good.
The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.
Children rarely run from a home where their needs are met.
children generally do not resist authority that is truly kind and selfless.
Parenting is shepherding the hearts of your children in the ways of God’s wisdom.
the gospel is powerful and attractive.
You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts. You need to show them not just the “what” of their sin and failure, but the “why.” Your children desperately need to understand not only the external “what” they did wrong, but also the internal “why” they did it.
your parenting goal cannot simply be well behaved children. Your children must also understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change.
The grace of forgiveness is found in the gospel. (26) I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
To do good to oppressors, however, to pray for those who mistreat you, to entrust yourself to the just Judge, requires a child to come face-to-face with the poverty of his own spirit and his need of the transforming power of the gospel.
The Word of God is robust; Christian faith can withstand close, honest scrutiny. Everyone does not have the obligation to ask every question, but everyone has the obligation to ask every question that he has.
Are there any passages that make the development of self-worth a biblically mandated goal? Shouldn’t we be more concerned with an accurate sense of self?
Many families who always have time for team practice are unable to organize family life around regular times of family Bible reading and prayer.
Abilities should be developed because God has given the stewardship of talents and special capacities.
Romans 12:17–21 tells us that the only weapon strong enough to overcome evil is good.
You should encourage your children to see the needs of those around them. You should help them learn to make peace. You should teach that a soft answer turns away wrath. Train your children to use occasions when hurt to learn how to love God and deepen their trust and confidence in him.
What your children need is spiritual nurture. They need to be taught the ways of God. They need to be instructed in the character of God so that they can learn a proper fear of God. They need to understand that all of life rushes toward the day when we shall stand before God and give account.
They need to know the dangers of trusting in themselves.
Nurture them. Tenderly encourage them to trust God. They need to trust him not only for salvation, but for daily living.
Repentance and faith are not rites of initiation to Christianity. Repentance and faith are the way to relate to God. Repentance and faith are not acts performed one time to become a Christian. They are attitudes of the heart toward ourselves and our sin. Faith is not just the way to get saved; it is the lifeline of Christian living.
The name of the game is not daily family worship per se; it is knowing God.
You need family worship that connects with your children and their lives. You must be creative and flexible in assuring that your family worship serves the shepherding and nurturing tasks we have outlined above.
Always remember that the goal of family worship is knowing God. When you lose sight of that goal, family worship becomes an empty ritual. You need only read Isaiah 1 to see how God feels about empty ritual.
The most important lesson for the child to learn in this period is that HE IS AN INDIVIDUAL UNDER AUTHORITY.
Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
