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The parenting task is multifaceted. It involves being a kind authority, shepherding your children to understand themselves in God’s world, and keeping the gospel in clear view so your children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you as people under God.
You may not direct your children for your own agenda or convenience.
must direct your children on God’s behalf for their good.
that children generally do not resist authority that is truly kind and selfless.
attitudes of their hearts. You need to show them not just the “what” of their sin and failure, but the “why.” Your children desperately need to understand not only the external “what” they did wrong, but also the internal “why” they did it. You must help them see that God works from the inside out. Therefore, your parenting goal cannot simply be well behaved children. Your children must also understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change.
A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable; it is condemnable.
You must help your child ask the questions that will expose that attitude of the heart that has resulted in wrong behavior.
You see, then, how heart attitudes direct behavior. This is always true. All behavior is linked to attitudes of the heart. Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart. This
You must learn to work from the behavior you see, back to the heart, exposing heart issues for your children. In
Shaping influences are those events and circumstances in a child’s developmental years that prove to be catalysts for making him the person he is.
The person your child becomes is a product of two things. The first is his life experience. The second is how he interacts with that experience.
“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ” (Colossians 2:8).
Are the values of your home based on human tradition and the basic principles of this world or on Christ?
Your children are responsible for the way they respond to your parenting.
Part of the parent’s task is to shepherd him as a creature who worships, pointing him to the One who alone is worthy of his worship. The question is not “will he worship?” It is always “whom will he worship?”
Anger that your child is not doing what you want frames discipline as a problem between parent and child, not as a problem between the child and God.
is God who is not being obeyed when you are disobeyed. It is God who is not being honored when you are not honored.
Fun together is not a bad idea, but it is light years away from directing your child in the ways of God.
The parent comes to the child in God’s name and on God’s
correction orbits around the parent who has been offended, then the focus will be venting anger or, perhaps, taking vengeance.
What is important is that your child learn to do his work diligently for God. God has promised that he will reward the faithful. Knowing that gifts and abilities are a stewardship from the Lord, your child’s objective should be faithfulness. You need to train your child to find in Christ the strength and power to work for God’s glory. Anything else is training him to think and act unbiblically.
What is the specific content of the abundance of the heart in this circumstance? What was the temptation? What was his response to that temptation? What was he trying to accomplish? If you can understand and help your child understand these things, you will be on your way to understanding the “why” of what has transpired. What you must do is peel away the behavior and discern the inner world of your child’s motivation in this situation. While you can never understand the issues of the heart flawlessly, it is a pursuit worthy of effort.
