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If you want to become a better leader, you can’t focus on rules and procedures to get things done or keep things going. You must develop relationships.
Moving up in the 5 Levels of Leadership is all about others. It means relating well to other people.
once you decide to include others in the leadership journey, you are well on your way to achieving success at the other levels.
Thank the People Who Invited You into Leadership:
Dedicate Yourself to Leadership Growth:
Define Your Leadership:
Shift from Position to Potential:
Focus on the Vision:
Shift from Rules to Relationships:
Initiate Contact with Your Team Members:
Don’t Mention Your Title or Position:
Learn to Say, “I Don’t Know”:
Find a Leadership Coach:
Because leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.
Building relationships develops a foundation for effectively leading others.
People no longer possess a “have to” mind-set. Instead it turns to “want to.”
The key to moving up to the Permission level is having the right attitude. Level 2 leaders exemplify the words of J. Donald Walters, who asserted, “Leadership is an opportunity to serve.”
Permissional leaders like people and want to help them. They want to see them succeed. The prevalent attitude is one of serving others and bringing out the best in the people they work with.
“Above all else, good leaders are open. They go up, down, and around their organizations to reach people. They don’t stick to established channels. They’re informal. They’re straight with people. They make a religion out of being accessible.”2
when I really open up the channels of communication on Level 2 and really listen, here is what I must give others: Ears—I hear what you say. Eyes—I see what you say. Heart—I feel what you say. Undivided attention—I value who you are and what you say.
Level 2 leadership is relationally driven. That is only possible when people respect and value one another.
Nothing lifts a person like being respected and valued by others.
As a leader on Level 2, your goals should be to become aware of the uniqueness of people and learn to appreciate their differences.
I also fell into the trap of wanting to make only decisions that were approved and accepted by all. I got stuck on Level 2 because my “softness” became a lid on my leadership.
As a leader, my goal should have been to help people, not to make them happy.
If you’re relational without being productive, you and your team won’t achieve any progress. If you’re productive without being relational, you may make a small degree of progress in the beginning, but you’ll fall short in the long run because you’ll either alienate your people or burn them out. You can’t become successful in leadership until you learn both.
“You can impress people from a distance, but you must get close to influence them.” When you do that, they can see your flaws. However, Warren notes, “The most essential quality for leadership is not perfection but credibility. People must be able to trust you.”
Make a choice to care about others. Liking people and caring about people is a choice within your control. If you haven’t already, make that choice. Look for something that is likable about every person you meet. It’s there. Make it your job to find it. Discover what is likable about yourself and do whatever you can to share that with every person you meet. Make the effort every day to express what you like about every person in your life.
It’s important to remember that while the things we have in common may make relationships enjoyable, the differences are what really make them interesting.
you must think less in terms of systems and more in terms of people’s emotions.
Emotional quotient
I am often given the opportunity to travel internationally and speak to a wide variety of audiences with different cultures, languages, histories, values, and interests. However, all request that I spend some time teaching them about integrity in relationships.
Point of emphasis in the training course.
Practicing the golden rule enables everyone to feel respected.
The words “I’m glad you work with me; you add incredible value to the team” mean a lot coming from someone who has the best interest of the team, department, or organization at heart.
Care and Candor
Families value community over contribution. Businesses value contribution over community. The best teams strike a balance.
“Is this person a can’t or a won’t? Can’t is about abilities. We can help these kinds of people in most cases—not in all cases, but in most. But won’t is about attitude. If the issue is attitude, the time to let that person know there is a problem is now, because here is the deal: we hire people for what they know and fire them for who they are.”
Care without candor creates dysfunctional relationships. Candor without care creates distant relationships. But care balanced with candor creates developing relationships.
One of the secrets of being candid is to think, speak, and act in terms of who the person has the potential to become and to think about how you can help them to reach it.
Use for training class
Caring Establishes the Relationship While Candor Expands the Relationship
“Leaders have to make the best decisions for the largest group of people. Therefore, leaders give up the right to cater to an individual if it hurts the team or the organization.”
“Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It’s inevitable—if you’re honorable.”
Moving up to Level 2 from Level 1 is a significant advance in leadership ability. Very often an achiever or a producer will be given a leadership position at Level 1 with the expectation that the person can make the transition from worker to leader. Most of the people who fail to move up into leadership don’t make it because they never understand the importance of building relationships with the people they work with and gaining their permission to lead them.
People must also grow with each other. Growing toward each other requires compatibility. Growing with each other requires intentionality.
Just because you’ve developed good relationships with your people, don’t think that you’re done on the relational side.
you have to be willing to risk what you’ve developed relationally for the sake of the bigger picture. Leaders must be willing to sacrifice for the sake of the vision. If achieving the vision is worth building the team, it is also worth risking the relationships.
That tension will force you to make a choice: to shrink the vision or to stretch the people to reach it.
If you want to do big things, you need to take people out of their comfort zones. They might fail. They might implode. They might relieve their own tension by fighting you or quitting.
Risk always changes relationships. If you risk and win, then your people gain confidence. You have shared history that makes the relationship stronger. Trust increases. And the team is ready to take on even more difficult challenges. However, if you risk and fail, you lose relational credibility with your people and you will have to rebuild the relationships. Risk is always present in leadership. Anytime you try to move forward, there is risk. Even if you’r...
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Evaluate Where You Are with Your Team: Write a list with the names of the people on your team. Now for each, determine how well you know them by answering the following questions (which come from materials the Eli Lilly corporation developed from the 5 Levels of Leadership): What three nonbusiness things do you know about this person? What does this person value? What are this person’s top three concerns? What does this person want or hope for in life?
For the next two weeks, say something encouraging to someone on your team every day. Then watch to see how the person responds.
