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Because the right place to start when having a mental breakdown is with a killer fucking playlist.
The first time I fell in love with Zoe, she was scream singing a Taylor Swift song in my parents’ living room while my sister Luna laughed at her. At least, I think that’s the first time. It’s happened so many times now.
My parents only have one child to push all of their pride and expectations on, and that’s me.
MARY’S SONG (OH, MY, MY, MY)
“Wanting a man to dance with you in a parking lot because he’s so fucking in love with you he can’t wait to get you home and into his arms isn’t childish. Thinking you’re too manly to pull over and give your girl that? That’s childish.”
“What are you doing to me?” I whisper against his lips. “Whatever it takes to convince you to be mine,” he says, and my heart stops. “Zee, I’ve been yours for as long as I can remember,” I confess because it’s the truth, and in this moment, I only have the truth as an option.
And the only thing my mind is capable of thinking is, Baby, let the games begin.
It wouldn’t be fair for you to live a life that doesn’t bring you joy because you think it’s what your parents want of you.”
“I’ve spent my entire life categorizing your likes and dislikes, waiting for the moment you’d let me in.”
But life doesn’t wait. It keeps moving, even if you stop.”
I don’t know much about the universe except that it’s never steered me wrong because it’s always directed me to you.”
“The real version of you is so far buried beneath other’s expectations, I thought there was a chance she was gone forever, Zoe. But then you questioned it all and threw away what you knew, and I got a glimpse of her. That Zoe? That Zoe is the one I fell for when I was 23, and I begged her to let me give us a chance. That one has been coming out little by little again, shining just a bit in the sun. I fucking miss that Zoe. That Zoe? That Zoe I would sit up at two AM and have ridiculous conversations with. That Zoe would point out stars and make her own constellations. That Zoe sat in a photo
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“Love you to the moon and Saturn, Zoe.”
Her entire tiny hand is wrapped around my finger
“Never grow up, princess. Okay?” I whisper.
