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To the Swifties who found themselves somewhere between the bridge and the chorus and let that shape how they see love and life. Long Live.
It’s called manifestation, my loves, Mrs. Davidson had said. You’re going to use this box as the gateway to all of your deepest, darkest desires, and the universe is going to work with you to make them happen.
“Don’t play stupid, Davidson. You gonna grow a pair and put a ring on my little girl’s finger?”
Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe that’s why I can’t find a man, why I can’t settle down, why I can’t stick with a job that I love. Maybe I’m broken.
I want to know to my bones that whoever I finally land with was meant to be mine from the day I was brought on this Earth.
Or did you just do what you thought people expected of you?”
His hand in mine. He squeezes it, once, twice, three times. A reassurance of sorts.
“What do you do for fun, Zoe?”
“I—” I try again but come up blank again.
“You’re putting me on the spot. Of course, I can’t think of something.” “Fine, ask me.” “What?” “Put me on the spot.” I roll my eyes. “What do you do for fun, Zander?” “I fish. I run. I watch the game with the guys. I go hiking with Hunter even though I hate the fucking bugs. I sit at the bar with Luna and talk shit. I work on my house. I work on my car—”
“Doesn’t matter. I spend my time working on it because it makes me happy. Now tell me. What do you do to relax yourself?”
“It’s silly. The idea that someone is so crazy for you they want to drop everything and dance in the parking lot or kiss in the rain.
“Wanting a man to dance with you in a parking lot because he’s so fucking in love with you he can’t wait to get you home and into his arms isn’t childish. Thinking you’re too manly to pull over and give your girl that? That’s childish.”
“What are you doing to me?” I whisper against his lips. “Whatever it takes to convince you to be mine,” he says, and my heart stops. “Zee, I’ve been yours for as long as I can remember,” I confess because it’s the truth, and in this moment, I only have the truth as an option.
“That I’ll live such a safe life that when I’m old, nothing sticks out.”
“No one wants to find their person and settle, you know? But life doesn’t wait. It keeps moving, even if you stop.”
Life keeps moving, even if you stop.
“I notice everything about you, Zoe.”
I need to stop forgetting that she’s delicate.
“It should have been us, you know? All along. That should have been me and you, getting engaged in front of everyone, the couple everyone knew would make it from the start.”
“There was always something—some string, some tether that kept us together.
“Love you to the moon and Saturn, Zoe.”
