It Has To Be You

by Dani McLean

To Alex. Because you asked me to dedicate this to you as a laugh, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t believe I’d actually do it. You’re the best ex-husband a girl could ask for. If friends can be soulmates, you’re one of mine. And to my future husband, You have big shoes to fill. And you know what they say about big feet.

But she knew the truth. Her destiny was out there. She simply had to wait for it to find her.

“You have your whole life ahead of you. Let it be a surprise.”

The future is yours to make, and if you wait too long, you might miss it.”

“Fate doesn’t act alone. She’ll show you the path, but you must walk it yourself.”

Her mind worked tirelessly, around and over itself. Sometimes that meant clutter, and other times, cleaning.

But her soulmate wouldn’t hate those things. He’d understand that she got sad sometimes. When the shadows embraced her like old friends, pulling her away from reality at a moment’s notice.

How dare he be so hot? It was indecent. And annoying.

“I don’t bite,” he said, his smile brightening his eyes. “Unless you ask me to.”

“Hold on, Snoopy. I like to go hard.”

She liked safe. Secure. Predictable.

It would be a hell of a lot easier to do so if he wasn’t standing so close, practically blocking out the sun with his shoulders.

“no one should ever make you feel bad about what you believe in. I certainly won’t.”

She should sue the entire bodywash industry for the incredible scent wafting off him right now.

“Then you better get used to it, because you’re beautiful when you’re passionate.”

They must have been talking for hours, and yet, she didn’t feel drained by the social interaction like she normally would.

Even his dimples had dimples.

What would young Indy think of her now? She’d had so many hopes for her future, back when it was big and bright and possible.

By thirty-one, she should be wiser, bolder, a fully formed being. Formed of what, Indy didn’t know. And she wasn’t sure she ever would.

Ethan wore glasses? Really? How was it even physically possible for this man to get any hotter?

But a good man told me a long time ago that letting anger direct you only means walking twice as far to get where you want to go.”

Sometimes it felt like a swarm of wasps lurked between her shoulders. Her mind was ten tabs constantly open, with three videos on pause and the nagging feeling that she’d forgotten something important.

It was impostor syndrome and social anxiety to a degree that often rendered her immobile.

Well, fuck. Gorgeous, compassionate, and a poet?

If that was how he spoke about his sister, she could only imagine what he’d say to a lover.

“Loves basketball, saves Hyrule, and can craft beautiful stories in her spare time? I don’t think you understand what that does to a man.”

“You don’t need saving, Indy.” The seriousness behind his words was overwhelming. “But I’ll help. Anywhere, anytime.” “Like my sidekick.” “Like a man who’d do anything for you.”

“He wears glasses. Glasses, Sash. I’m in so much trouble. It’s like Clark Kent and Captain America had a freakin’ love child. And my god, I’ll never be able to unthink that. Help me.”

You made a fan today. One of my kids asked if the girl I was eating lunch with was my girlfriend, because if not, he wanted to marry her. Indy: What did you tell him? Ethan: To get in line.

“I have a habit of” — she took a deep sigh — “overdoing things. Worrying too much, feeling too much too soon. It’s pushed people away. I’m working on taking things slower.”

Jesus Christ, he should come with a Not Safe for Work warning. There was no way she would make it through brunch without catching on fire.

“Indy, promise me. Anytime at all. You need someone to talk to, you come to me.”

Apparently, some corporation in town is doing a bunch of community pro bono stuff, and this Forrester guy has promised a huge donation to all the local libraries.

How could she explain to him how afraid she was? Where would she even begin?

She was a homebody, an introvert, overly involved with fictional people (especially the ones she made up herself), and completely out of touch with current affairs.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to know everything was going to work out all right? That it was okay to mess up, or” — she looked down. — “be a little weird, because eventually the right person would come along and love you for who you are? Someone who would fit you perfectly. And you wouldn’t have to worry that who you were would scare them off because you were meant to be together.”

“I know, but Fate doesn’t scare me.” “What does?” “Getting it wrong. Failing.

You’re making your own destiny.” “And so far, it’s only led me to you.” Ethan held her gaze. “Maybe it’s a sign.” “You don’t believe in signs.” “You’re right,” he said. “But you do.”

There was probably an unofficial fan club. Mr. Fraser’s followers. With an eggplant logo and a long list of reviews. All five stars, of course. Top-tier date, loved the climax.

On Indy’s best days, she was a four, maybe a three and a half. Cute, but not for everyone.

Still, Indy knew there was one special person who would see past all that. Who would want her as-is. To them, she’d be special. Ten out of ten, would recommend.

“I’d like to know what it’s like to mean something to someone. Just one person. My person. That’s not too much to ask, is it?”

“And if it was meant to be, if we were perfectly suited, right down to our atoms, then I wouldn’t have to worry that he’d change his mind. He’d stick around, even after he’d gotten to know me.”

“I want fireworks and passion and someone who won’t make fun of me if I cry when Joel dies. Who doesn’t mind when I zone out while I’m working or how obsessive I can get over a new project. Who can handle that I’ll live, breathe, and bleed every detail and probably talk of little else while I’m writing it.”

“And that I’ll have bad days, when I won’t want to work at all, or even talk with another person. I want someone who won’t mind that I will love them wholly and completely, with every part of myself, for better or worse, as long as I live.”

“I don’t know how any man has ever looked at you and not made you theirs, but I’m not about to make that mistake. Nick might be clueless, but I’m not.”

“You’re incredible, and any guy who doesn’t see that is blind. But not everyone will deserve you, and that’s a good thing, because the lucky bastard who does will have to be pretty fucking special.”

Especially when they reached a red light and Ethan lowered a hand to her bare knee and rubbed his thumb in circles for a solid ten seconds before the light changed. Her skin was still tingling when they parked at his building twenty minutes later.

“Curious little thing, aren’t you?”

“I think you know what I want, Indy.” Her heart was on a trip wire. “Oh?”