Fault Line (Coastal University #2)

by Ki Stephens

I’m so tired, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t stop ruminating, and I’ve been picking at my hair so much that my scalp is bleeding again. The symptoms of my compulsions have become more noticeable than ever. It’s something I’ve gained control over throughout the years, but when my anxiety flares, it picks back up again. I used to pull from spots all over, but now it’s centralized to one smaller location at the top of my head. There’s a bald patch there, and every time it starts to grow in, I just can’t help myself—I pluck all the tiny hairs away. And now, over this past week, the spot has only grown in size. The stress I’m feeling has pushed me to my limits, and my subconscious coping mechanism has taken full control. I’m worried that it will get just as bad as it used to be. And then, I won’t be able to hide it anymore. That’s why I chopped all my hair off after freshman year. With less hair, there’s less to pick, and pull, and fidget with. Inevitably, I feel self-conscious whenever I see it in the mirror. Even though I try to hide it as best as I can, I know the missing patch is there, serving as a constant reminder of my struggles. It’s something I’ve tried to keep hidden from Holden, but it’s getting harder and harder to do so. I’m sure he’s noticed despite my efforts, anyway. I truly wish I could stop, but it’s like an itch I can’t resist scratching—a cruel affliction, taking away not only my hair but also my confidence and sense of self-control.