Take a drink every time you hear a lie. You’re a great cook. (They say as you burn toast.) You’re so funny. (You’ve never told a joke.) You’re so … … handsome. … ambitious. … successful. … strong. (Are you drinking yet?) You’re so … … charming. … clever. … sexy. (Drink.) So confident. So shy. So mysterious. So open. You are impossible, a paradox, a collection at odds. You are everything to everyone. The son they never had. The friend they always wanted. A generous stranger. A successful son. A perfect gentleman. A perfect partner. A perfect … Perfect … (Drink.) They love your body. Your abs.
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