Funny Feelings

by Tarah DeWitt

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO ALL THE WOMEN WHO’VE EVER BEEN TOLD THAT THEY’RE TOO MUCH. Maybe you’re too loud, too crass, too open, too bawdy. You overshare too often, say too many bad words, you’re too weird, or too emotional. To the women who, in their quiet moments, still think back on their social interactions and wonder if they really are too much, if they should feel embarrassed, or ashamed. You are fucking incredible. You are my people. Don’t you dare dilute yourselves to make yourselves more palatable. You are all heart and fire.

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone. —BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT

Marry me, while you’re at it. Let me bake something for you. Give me a pet name and let me massage your palms when you’re tense.

I recognize that Dr. Deb and I need to continue patching up my mental umbrella, so that love and confidence comes from within, so that I can protect myself from the thoughts that want to surge and drown me. But these are my puddle people, the ones who will go splash around with me, even when I can’t.

“You didn’t want me to have the secrets, did you?” he teases, squinting at me. “You wanted me needy, begging for it, didn’t you? You’re high on power.”