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“That.” “I guess… I don’t think I realize I do it,” I mumble. “Sometimes I’m too preoccupied to notice.” He nods, his face suddenly serious. “Tell me about ‘em.” “I get overwhelmed. Sometimes there’s too much. Between football and student council and getting my scholarships and being Blaine fucking Yates— I… I can’t— I get…”
“Blaine?” Silas’ voice is muffled, almost like I’m underwater reaching for the surface. “Blaine, baby, breathe.” He forces my hands to unclench around his jacket and moves them to his chest. “Feel my heart. Count with me.”
drop my forehead against his collarbone as I count his heartbeats. They’re steady, thrumming dependably, strong and firm. Silas brings one hand behind my head, running his fingers through my hair as he murmurs that everything’s okay, that I’m here with him, that I’ll be fine.
“You with me?” “Y–Yeah,” I stutter, letting out a shaky breath as I melt into him further. “I’m… I’m okay.”
“Sometimes I throw up. You might not be able to believe it, but it’s hard. It’s hard having to live up to what everyone thinks of me. They all want something that I can’t give them, and every time they take, they don’t replace it with anything. I’m only a plastic toy for them to play with then throw away.”
“Don’t say shit like that,”
“Fuck ‘em. Who cares what they think?” “I…” I’m at a loss for words. Is it really that ea...
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“You’re more than what ...
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“Blaine Yates, you’re smart as hell, kind as hell, and patient as hell. Christ, sometimes I wonder what you’re doing hangin’ around with someone like me.” “What do you ...
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“Only sometim...
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“I’m nothin’. You got plans to get outta here, and I’m stuck. Gotta live a life just like my pops. Gonn...
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“That’s not true.” “What do I have to offer?”
“Nothin’. I’m scum, and I’m alright with it. As long as I take care of the people that matter, who cares what happens to me?”
“I do,” I say firmly, then kiss him quickly—once, twice, three times—because I hate the fact that he thinks like that. “Si, you’re important to me. I don’...
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