Kindle Notes & Highlights
@Jadedboyaddicted4ev: Good. I was about to cancel Travis. He’s been making us wait for years. Ugh. Fucking finally! I’m so glad the album title leaked.
Legally, I’m an adult, but I’m still mistaken for a teenager because I look younger. Anyway, it has its perks. Like today. I finally was allowed to make my own adult choices. Pretty bad ones, but still.
within seconds. “It’s not enough for you to complain about me, so you have to criticize my house, don’t you?” I corner her. Smirking. She clears her throat. “Sure. To keep you grounded.” “No thanks.” I pull away and open the door for her. However,
It doesn’t matter that I’m almost twenty-six. The fact that I still live under their roof makes them believe I’m still their little kid.
sobered myself up as soon as the thought of Emilia sleeping in my guest bedroom creeped into my mind. Her toiletries overflowing the cabinets in my guest bathroom gave me goosebumps, and seeing her dirty clothes in the laundry room’s hamper haunted me. Fucking hell. I
I close my eyes, and a few seconds later I feel the impact of a pillow hitting me on the face. “Hey!” I shout. “What was that for?” “For being an idiot. Jesus, Travis. Why don’t you cooperate? I’m trying to be nice. I really am. But you’re not making my life easy!” Emilia returns to sit down on the stool in front of the laptop and speakers and hand me a microphone. “Just try. Please.” “Fine.” I scoff and roll my eyes. “But don’t you ever fucking hit me again, okay?” “If I have to, I will.” She retorts, and I huff. Christ, she’s going to give me gray hair, and I’m too young to deal with that.
I’m about to leave the room when I feel another pillow hitting me, but now on the back. “I warned you!” I shout, and Emilia just ignores me, tapping away on her laptop. “Are you ignoring me now?” “Sit down.” She mumbles. “What if I don’t, huh?” I warn her, and she just shakes her head. “Then you’ll be condemned to listen to that fucking song for eternity because we have to finish it, and you don’t have a choice or a say in it.”
So could you be so kind to stop fucking around and sit the fuck down so we can fucking finish this fucking song?”
“Again!” Emilia shouts and plays the song one more time. She does this way more times that I can count until she’s got enough takes to cut and paste here and there and form the song. She is an odd fucking nightmare, and so is the song.
“Why did you do that?” I asked, talking first. “Do what?” “Don’t play dumb with me. You know what you did.” I reply, and he just shakes his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about. All I reckon is that I wanted sushi.” I sigh. “I know you won’t accept it,” my voice lowers. “But thank you.” He nods slightly and keeps driving.
“Can’t you just be nice for once? Jesus, it’s like you enjoy mortifying me.” He laughs. “I enjoy putting people in predicaments. Especially you.” My throat dries up. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? “Well, you should get another hobby. Because that one is disgusting.”
“Uhm—a six-piece Shrimp Tempura cut roll and an Apperol Spritz, please.” The lady nods, leaving. “Apperol Spritz?” he mocks. “That’s a girl’s drink.” I interlace my fingers in front of me and set my arms on the table. “Wow, Travis. And what am I?” “An alien.” Immature whiny baby. I huff. “I didn’t know aliens could be friends with assholes.” “We are not friends.” He hastily replies. “You just called me your friend when we arrived! Now are you going to gaslight me again and tell me you don’t remember?” “Yes, because I don’t recall saying that.” “But you do accept that you are an asshole.” I
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“You are on your own now.” He whispers when Wren is distracted by something on his phone, and I kick him under the table. That was a terrible thing to say. “Ouch!” I shake my head. “You deserve it.”
Never in a million years did I think I would see Travis Antonoff eating panamanian Sancocho. But life is crazy, and I just hope it doesn’t get any crazier.
I was transfixed. With you, who were my favorite—the boys, the songs. I knew then, that’s what I wanted to do. Produce songs like the ones in Not Letting You Go.” I was her favorite Jaded Boy? That’s shocking.
I hear the lock turning, and I can’t believe myself for allowing her a chance to finish her job here. What is she doing to me?
If that girl put something in my drinks, then that would explain why I find myself losing sleep over the conversation she just had with my idiotic manager.
She comes closer to me, and her face is a mere inches away from mine. It’s been a week since I learned the secret. I know it’s killing her. And because of that, the sudden urge to hold her and kiss her creeps inside me. What the fuck?
She’s kissing me first, so I take that as a valid confirmation to move forward. My mouth accepts her tongue, and my hands roam desperately on her back. Hers does the same. I pull up her shirt, and her laced black bra sends me into a trance. “What are you doing to me, Emilia?” I whisper against her neck as I suck on her lavender-scented skin. She doesn’t say anything and fumbles with my belt.
“Biting the same burger sounds disgusting.” She replies, and I let out a laugh. “But exchanging saliva isn’t?” I say, and her mouth drops. “Shut up! Don’t go there,”
lock my eyes with Travis’, and even when a girl wearing less clothes than me is trying to talk to him, he’s too occupied concentrating on me. As he should.
He can deny it all he wants. But he secretly loves all this flavor. It’s in my blood and genes to have fun.
He locks in our lips. Ferociously devouring me with such intensity that I don’t recognize where it came from. I’m shocked for a couple seconds, but an intensity from my part arrives as well. I smile in between the kisses and clasp my fingers in his hair. Bringing him closer, saturated with emotion. And just as the song says:
“Sex can ruin our friendship for good. Did you know that?” She asks, losing air as I kiss her collarbone. “Good thing we are not friends.”
“This could end terribly wrong,” she says as I pull up the skirt she’s wearing. It pools on her hip and shows me how wet her panties are. My breath caught in my throat. I’m dying. I want her. I crave her. I need her.
“You think I care?” I reply, opening her thighs. A gasp leaves her mouth, and I smirk. “You’re going to tell me something now.” “What?” she pants. “How exactly do you want me, Emilia?” Her eyes widen at my question, and I press my fingers hard against the skin behind her knees. I graze my fingers up and down her leg and tease her. I gave her a piece of what she did to me yesterday afternoon. She doesn’t take her eyes off me. “Bad. I want you so bad.” “And why do you want me so bad?” I whisper into her ear. “Because I want,” she stops, clearing her throat. “I want you to fuck me.”
Fuck, she’s gorgeous like this. She’s gorgeous all the time. And I need her so bad right now that I might collapse.
This must be a fucking dream. I must be passed out somewhere dreaming about this, because I must’ve lost my damn mind and should be institutionalized.
But I kiss her frantically. Like I’ve been in the desert for a year without anything to drink. As if I’ve been waiting for her to rehydrate me. To bring me back to life.
Something within me aches because, in my rampage, I’ve tried so hard to ignore her. She walked swiftly into my life months ago, but in the last two, I’ve only started to see her.
I don’t know what she wants me to say. To agree with her that what we did was only carnal and move on? I don’t want to. I know it was. But for some fucking reason, I can’t process it that way when it’s never been an issue for me. Fuck.
Emilia is a Pandora’s box filled with secrets, a beetle with a tantalizing soul. All she does is step aside from what she wants to do to benefit others. I don’t know what that’s like. I’m pissed at myself for connecting with her. I’m pissed at myself for worrying about us. And there’s never been an us.
She sits on the edge of the sofa, and I scoot over to give her space next to me. It’s taking every ounce of willpower in me not to grab her by the waist and place her on top of my lap right now. I need her.
She’s playing mind games with me; I fucking hate it. I find myself in a state of desperation, trying to make her mine with every minute that passes. It’s a cruel magnetic force battening me to a carnal desire that I can’t shake off.
Just thinking about her gets me all fired up. Her body is a hazard. I want to handle it the right way. I want the evidence of our tryst all over my face one more time. To supplant my rage with lust. To make her feel me move in the scrumptious ancient rhythm inside her. I want to be controlled by her grit. I want to win the first prize and reach the only possible catatonic outcome. You know what it is. I know it too. But I’ll be damned if I have to say it or feel it first.
thought you were cleverer than this, Emilia. I want to cash in the favor you owe me.” “I am.” I retort, and a grumble resurges from within him, crouching his body as much as the limited space allows. Heat pools between my legs. “I thought you knew better than that by now.” His tongue roves on my tights. I close my eyes. I savored the sensation and pulled my head back without caring that it almost hit the mirror. “Know what?” I dared to ask, breathless. “That you can think?” He chuckles. “That you are mine.” Travis replies, so certain he is convincing me of the fact. I’m not his and will never
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“I hate you.” I say as his cock enters me, and he shuts me up with a kiss. I said that, but I don’t really feel it anymore. How could I hate him? “I hate you more.” He replies, smiling against my lips, and I find myself fucked in more than one way at the same time.
“And are you aware of the pain that you are causing me?” I finally blurted out, losing my temper. “What the hell are you talking about?” she replies, and her words feel like a gunshot. How can she not understand? How can she not be aware that all she’s done since we met is turn me into a fool? I take two steps back and scoff. Perhaps she’s not paying enough attention and her head is somewhere else, because she’s not getting it and I can’t say it. It’s unbearable. “My head spins every time I see you, whether to drive me up the wall or to hear you out. I can’t breathe. My hands shake, and I turn
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“Wren would never see you the way I do.” I scream before she opens the glass doors to the lobby, and I catch up to her.
“I can’t shut up. Because you need to understand that I can’t stand seeing you with another man, Emilia. That idiot would never feel for you what I feel for you.”
“Is this for me?” He nods, and he settles on the couch, fixing his posture. “Am I Violet?” He nods again. “But… why?” “Because last night after our discussion, all I wanted to do was turn back time and have you in my arms for the first time again. To have you on my bed wearing purple lingerie and loving you the way you deserve,” he pauses, then says. “I’m starting to guess you bewitched me that night.”
“Christ, Emilia. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I’m miserable if you’re not here? You want me. Admit it.”
She moved into the guest bedroom of my heart and stayed as a permanent resident.
Holy shit. Why is being an adult so complicated?
“This is real. What I feel for you is real. Do you feel it, Emilia? Do you feel my heart fastening its rhythm and me aching for you?”
“The love of my life has the right to find the love of their life.”
“Christ, Emilia… You know what I’ve been doing all day?” She shakes her head, and I wet my lips. “Waiting for you to come back. I’ve been staring at the window all day, just waiting.” “Why?” she asks, and I’m curious if she’s asking to reassure herself that this is happening or if she’s unaware of my intentions. “Because I missed you. Because, in case it hasn’t sunk in yet, I want to be with you. I want you here every day, making me eat salad and loving my odd dog as much as I do.”
Somehow, I think everything I’ve done has been to bring me to you.”
“You deserve the entire fucking world, and I want to give it to you.”
“They’re just seeing what I see in you,” he whispers, and I lift my eyebrows. “A gorgeous girl with a kind soul.”
