That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon (Mead Mishaps, #1)

by Kimberly Lemming

His coal eyes took me in with a downright predatory expression as a crooked smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.“I don’t think I’ll be letting you go after we finish this quest.”

A devilish grin sent shock waves straight to my core. “I mean, I’m going to take you as my wife when this is all over.”

“Of course, that would trigger the honeymoon phase, and we wouldn’t be able to keep our hands off each other. As tempting as you are, love, I’d rather not fuck you senseless in a deadly forest.”

“I have agreed to absolutely none of that!” “Why not? You mentioned you were unattached, we’ve gotten along quite well, the attraction is there, and I’m clearly strong enough to protect you.” He was, without a shadow of a doubt, the most arrogant man I’d ever met. “You’ve known me for four days!” Fallon grinned and took the reins from my hands and flicked them to have the horses pick up the pace. “Yes. And in those four days, I’ve met your parents—” “You threatened my parents.” “Semantics. We’ve saved each other multiple times, been naked together, and I saw you kill a giant lizard with zero hesitation.” He reached over to snag me around the waist and pulled me to him. “That last one sealed the deal for me, to be honest. I’ve always wanted a fierce mate.” “That’s it? The basis for demon marriage is killing an alligator?” I frowned up at him but didn’t bother to pull away. His grip around me tightened as we came up to a long bridge. His coal eyes narrowed as he scanned the area. The wilds of the bayou seemed to stop at its edge. It sat atop a large river with a sea of grasslands on the other side. To the east, I could make out a whisper of a city outline. “It certainly helps.”

“You’ll pay for that!” I rolled my eyes. “I mean, not what I would say to the man who just beat your friend with your other friend like he was a ragdoll. But live your best life, I guess.”

“Does this mean you’ve agreed to be my wife?” “No, you’re still a rapscallion.”

“If I can rack up enough points to win you by the end of our task, you agree to be mine. How many points would I need to win your heart?” “One thousand,” I said instantly. He balked

“How many points will you give me when I taste your cunt?

What

I sat back on the bank for a moment, hiding my head in my hands as I came to a harsh realization: I’m going to fuck a demon before this is over.

Through the window, I could see her pick up a wooden sign of her own and scribble something down before putting it in the window: “KOLE FERRY’S NOSE IS SO DEEP IN THE HAPPY DUST HE CAN’T SNIFF A WARTHOG’S ASS FROM A ROSE BUSH!” Upon reading the sign, Tyrice grew beet red and stomped his foot. “You leave my father out of this; you don’t know what he’s been through!” Without missing a beat, Usha opened the window and shouted, “Coke! He’s been through a lot of coke!”

“You… can talk,” she began slowly. “And… and not just basic words either. Like rational spoken words?” “I tend to save my mindless screaming for Tuesdays,”

“I can be your villain,” he whispered. “Why don’t you let me take away the burden of choice for a while?”

Any hope of keeping a shred of dignity in this affair went out for milk and never returned.

“Marrying a dragon doesn’t seem so bad anymore, does it?” I giggled into the soft pillow, unable to waste the strength to swat at him. “The council has deliberated. While your arguments are sound and just, we must gather more evidence before a ruling can be reached.” Burying his nose in my hair, he breathed deep. “Madam, this is a kangaroo court,” he said ruefully. “A kangaroo court?” “You have intentionally ignored evidence that would be in favor of the defendant.” His thumb traced delightful circles on my arm, pulling me closer to sleep. “Evidence like what?” I murmured. He paused for a moment. “My massive cock?”