That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon (Mead Mishaps, #1)

by Kimberly Lemming

My self-preserving habits made me a bit of an outlier with the other girls in town. “Who wouldn’t want to go off on a grand adventure with a bunch of hot heroes also chosen by the goddess?” Me, bitches. No, thank you. Biceps were nice, but so was not having my guts eaten by an orc.

The image brought a sting of the memory of my ex leaving town for similar reasons. My lack of desire to be eaten by orcs was a turnoff, and the bastard needed a more adventurous woman. Weeks of crying later, a dear friend came over to slap me out of my sad-girl routine to remind me that “he ain’t shit.” Who needs him? Or any man! Love is for people with not enough wine in their hands!

If I thought his face was beautiful before, it was downright unholy when he laughed.

“That doesn’t sound very nice.” He chuckled. “I’m your villain today, remember? I don’t need to be nice.”

The sun could go fuck itself.

Me every day..

I could die from this. They’ll have to write “fucked into oblivion” on my tombstone.

His cock strained against his wool pants. So I did what any excellent wife would do and set it free.

This is some burnt crust bullshit.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I know,” I said, nodding. “Now flip me over and tell me I’m a good girl.”