Pucking Wild (Jacksonville Rays, #2)

by Emily Rath

She grabs my chin, tipping my gaze up to meet hers. “And let’s get one thing crystal fucking clear. You don’t own me, Ryan Langley. We’ve kissed and we’ve danced, and we’ve flirted, but I am my own fucking person. I’m not beholden to you or anyone. And this shitty jealousy is a huge turn off for me. So, I suggest you pack it away if you ever want a snowball’s chance in hell of seeing me naked again.”

“And for your information, there’s no one else here,” she declares. “I wasn’t getting fucked, Ryan. I was in the sauna. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I left my phone outside. I’m calling Rachel and figuring out what the hell is going on.”

Well, it was a good idea in theory, but it looks like I won’t be staying here after all. After the way I just showed my ass in front of her, I’m not surprised she’s upset. I could blame it all on the painkillers, but that would be a lie. My irrational jealousy was real. It surprised me as much as Tess. She doesn’t owe me anything. And I’ve never been the territorial type before.

I know what’s not happening. I’m not moving in with Tess Owens. Life simply isn’t that cruel…or that kind.

That last one threw me for a loop. The anger rolled off him like a surging storm. He thought I was wandering around the house, freshly fucked, flaunting myself in front of him. I’m done with possessive men who think they get to own me. If Ryan keeps up this attitude, he’ll see me fly before he ever sees me naked again. Unless he’s your roommate.

I glance up to see Ryan still sitting inside on the couch. He’s in profile, not looking my way. He looks exhausted and miserable. And he’s hurt. A knee sprain, he said. I didn’t even ask him how bad it is or how long he’ll be off the ice. Hockey is the only thing these guys care about. It’s their whole world. He has to be reeling a bit too.

Mars and Jake are here too. Rachel looks anxious, Jake looks guilty, and Mars is pissed. As one, they take me in, three sets of eyes trailing from my face, down across my blanket dress, and back up. Jake’s face splits into a grin. “Well, that happened fast.” He glances to his partners. “I guess we have no problem here then, right? So, everyone can just stop being mad at Jake now.” “Hush,” Rachel says with a wave of her hand. “Tess, oh my god, what did you—” “Will you get your head out of the gutter? I wasn’t having sex,” I cry indignantly. “I was in the sauna.” I spin on my heel and march back into the house. Ignoring Ryan, I sweep into the kitchen and snatch up my glass of wine, taking a deep swig.

“I mean, I hate to do this, but Ryan, Tess was given a key first so…” “It’s no problem. I’ll go,” says Ryan from the couch. “I’ll call Perry or Dave-O and have them come pick me up.” “You’re not rooming with Davidson for the next four weeks,” Jake counters. “We shack you up with him, you’ll kill him inside of two days. The guy may be a sieve, but he’s our sieve. We need him.” “For now,” Mars adds. “Perry, then,” says Ryan. It’s his voice that hooks something deep in me. He sounds so tired, so physically and emotionally drained. “It’s fine,” I hear myself say, my hand clutching to the front of my blanket dress. They all glance over at me, even the dog who stands dutifully at Rachel’s side. “Seriously?” says Jake. “Tess, it’s not a big deal,” says Rachel. “There are plenty of other places he can stay. We’re just trying to find him someplace with minimal stairs while he’s on the crutches.” “I told you, I’m fine,” says Ryan. “And I told you to shut up,” Jake counters. “This is happening. Deal.” “He can stay here,” I say.

“What, there’s two bedrooms, right?” I say with a shrug. “And he’s already here. And he’s tired,” I add, glancing down at him. His exhaustion is written in every line of his face. My poor sunshine puppy from the beach is now looking like a stray left out in a box in the rain. “As long as he doesn’t expect to get fucked six ways to Sunday,” I add.

“You don’t have to do this,” he says softly. “Really, I can go.” I place my hand on his shoulder. “Stay. I want you to stay.” With a heavy sigh, he leans into my hand. After a moment, he tips his face up slightly, letting his lips graze the inside of my wrist. It’s not a kiss, but it’s not nothing either. I try to ignore the way it makes my heart beat faster.

Rachel and her guys clear out, taking the dog with them. I give Ryan his space once I see that he’s set up in the guest room, his leg balanced on top of a pillow, a bag of ice perched atop his knee. He’s playing some kind of game on his phone that makes loud go-kart racing sounds. It’s odd, but just knowing Ryan’s here is bringing me comfort. I’m going to log this away under the label ‘Gemini Problems.’ It’s the extrovert in me. I don’t like being alone. I spent so much of my young life alone by nature of my circumstances—abandoned by my mother, ignored by my relatives, too poor to join the cool after school clubs, and too embarrassed to invite friends over when I didn’t know whose couch I’d be crashing on from week to week.

What can I say? I’m an extroverted introvert with truly impressive trust and abandonment issues. But man, do I know how to pick a quality cheese.

What is it about this hockey boy that I keep letting him in? I let him flirt with me, let him kiss me. Now he flashes me one glance of those hurt puppy eyes, and I let him move in across the hall.

He’s probably asleep, too tired to turn out the light. He’s a grown man, Tess. Leave him alone. Righting myself in my chair, I turn my attention back to my glass of wine and my show. Ryan Langley is not my problem. He’s the solution to my problem…he just doesn’t know it yet.

Ignoring the bossy voice in my head telling me to leave him alone, I inch down the dark hallway. His door is cracked open. I take a step closer and peek in. Ryan is shirtless, sitting up in bed. Holy mama, I forgot how ripped he is. His boyish blond hair is mussed. It’s the hair that ages him so young. He’s in his early twenties, but his college frat boy hair gives him a look like he isn’t old enough to order a shot of Jäegermeister. I shift my weight, and the floor creaks loud enough to wake the dead. I duck back, but it’s too late. He glances up sharply, his eyes locking on mine. “Tess?” he calls out.

“Just checking on you. I figured you fell asleep with your light on. I was gonna turn it off,” I say, gesturing at the lamp in the corner. “You can turn it off if you want,” he replies. I step into the room, leaving the comfort of the dark hallway. “Why are you still awake?” “Can’t sleep,” he replies. “Aren’t the pain meds supposed to help with that?” He shrugs. “I’m not taking them.” I drop my hand away from the lamp. “Why aren’t you taking your meds? You’ve gotta be in pain, right?” “I don’t like the way they make me feel. The pain’s not so bad compared to the stomach cramps from the meds.”

“Am I gonna have to tell Rachel that you’re being noncompliant with her rehab routine?” “I am being compliant,” he replies, gesturing to his knee. “Look. This is me being fucking compliant, and I’m fucking miserable about it, okay?” “Are you uncomfortable? Do you need another pillow?” “Of course I’m uncomfortable,” he huffs. “I can’t fucking sleep like this. It’s been two fucking days.” “You can’t sleep with the brace on? Does it hurt or—” “I can’t sleep on my back,” he corrects. “I can’t—I don’t ever sleep on my back. But all the docs say I have to keep my leg like this to protect my MCL from any pressure or twisting. So, I can’t fucking sleep.”

“Oh, Ryan,” I say with a sigh, reaching out to brush his messy hair back from his brow. “What are we gonna do with you?” “Put me out of my misery.” I smirk. “I don’t think things are quite that dire.” “I’m going out of my fucking mind,” he admits, a slight catch in his voice. The poor man is past the point of exhaustion. Alright, it’s time for someone to take charge of this situation. Geminis love a good problem to fix. “Well, okay,” I say, hands on my hips as I glance around the room. “I don’t think it’s a matter of you not being able to sleep on your back. I think we just have to set you up for success.” “Tess…” “Step one, turn off the video games,” I say, plucking his phone off his lap. “Hey—” “Studies show that phone use before bed disrupts your sleep cycle.”

“So, you admit you have no qualifications to help me fall asleep,” he presses, a glint in his eye. He’s liking this. Truth be told, I am too. “Sit up,” I reply. “We’re gonna get you horizontal.” He laughs. “And now to distract me from your lack of qualifications, you’re trying to use your feminine wiles to get me horizontal. Are you gonna have your way with me, Tess?” I jerk the pillow out from behind his head. “Ouch—shit—” He catches himself before he falls back and hits the headboard. “Sweet puppy, you listen to me now,” I tease. “If you think you have what it takes to ride this rollercoaster, you are sorely mistaken. In your current state, you wouldn’t make it up the first hill. There will be no having my way with you tonight. There will only be sleep.”

“Not tonight…but tomorrow is another day. And I’m game if you are.” “You have to live to see tomorrow,” I counter. “And at this rate, you’re about to fall dead from exhaustion. Now shimmy down a bit and lie down.” I help him situate, fixing the pillow under his knee as we get him into a much more relaxed incline. “How do you sleep on all those planes?” I ask, unfolding the throw blanket and laying it over him. “I curl up on my side,” he replies, his biceps flexing as he pokes and prods the pillow into shape under his head. “I sleep best on my stomach, though. So usually, I just don’t sleep. I play video games and listen to audiobooks and stuff.”

“Better?” I say into the dark. He’s quiet for a minute. “Yeah,” comes his soft voice. “Think you can sleep now?” “I—yeah,” he says quickly. “What?” “It’s nothing. It’s dumb. I’ll try to sleep.” “Come on, Ryan,” I tease. “You’ve seen me naked twice now. I have no secrets from you. Don’t keep secrets from me.” He shifts on the bed. “I, uhh…your voice...

“That’s dumb. Just sit on the bed,” he replies, pushing up on his elbows to try and look at me through the dark. “You’re on the bed.” “It’s a queen-sized bed, Tess. There’s room for both of us. What if I promise to keep my hands to myself?” “Do I have to promise the same?” I don’t even know what made me say it. The banter just pops out around him. The same thing happened at the wedding. It’s like each time we meet, he gets more comfortable in his own skin, more comfortable with me too.

“No,” comes his soft reply. Poor hockey boy is in agony, wanting something he can’t have. And that something is me. Stupid butterflies flutter in my chest. I stomp those bitches down hard and fast. “Okay, Ryan. Here’s the deal. I will sit on this bed with you for exactly fifteen minutes, and I will talk at you, and you will not respond. You are to be trying to fall asleep, understood?” “Yeah, that’s totally cool,” he says, unable to hide the eagerness from his tone. “Don’t get too excited. I’m gonna walk you through my hair routine in excruciating detail. We’re talking hair masks, keratin sprays, detanglers, leave-in curl products. And I will not touch your dick or any part of you remotely close to your dick,” I add, my tone firm. “So let go of that fantasy right now.” “Got it. Yeah, I won’t say a thing. And no dick touching.”

I lie down. I curl on my side facing towards him and he turns his head too, looking at me. “Let’s start with my weekly routines,” I say, keeping my voice soft.

“Hmm,” he says, his head turning away as he closes his eyes. “That’s it.” “That’s what?” “The scent that’s been haunting me since beach day,” he replies, his words slurred by fatigue. “In my mind I was calling it piña colada. It’s coconut. My coconutty dream girl.”

I lean closer to him. “You realize you lasted exactly seven seconds after swearing to a vow of silence, right? I have no choice but to leave. We can’t have you thinking actions don’t have consequences—” “Stay,” he says, reaching out to grab my hand. He laces our fingers together, pulling my arm across his stomach. “You were talking about scalp massages.” “Mhmm,” I reply, swallowing down the emotion in my throat. “I’ve never had a scalp massage.” “Give me my hand back,” I whisper. His fingers tighten around mine. “No. You’ll leave.” I smile. “I won’t leave. Give it back, and I’ll pet your head.”

Using a gentle touch, I stroke my fingers over his soft hair. I scrape lightly along his scalp with my nails. He groans, following my touch. “Keep talking. Hair mask.” I curl my other arm under my head, continuing to pet him as I talk him through my hair mask routine. He doesn’t last five minutes before he’s crashed out asleep.

Her words kickstart my brain. The events of the previous night come rushing back to me, and I almost give myself whiplash with how quickly I turn to look at the other side of the bed. Tess is gone. Of course she is. Did I really expect her to spend the night with me? Still, it was so nice to fall asleep to the sound of her voice, the feel of her gentle touch. I don’t like how much I’m frustrated not waking up next to her too. I’ve gotta deal with this crush before I do something truly embarrassing like beg her to hold me. Maybe Doc will let me sweat it out in a brutal PT session today.

Outside in the hall, I hear a door shut. Tess is up and moving around. I don’t want to miss her if she’s about to leave. I jerk the blanket off me and swing my legs off the side of the bed, reaching for my crutches. “—and Josh arranged to have Lauren Gerard come pick you up for your PT at 9:00 a.m.—” “Yeah—hey, Shelbs,” I say, raising my voice. “I need to hop off here and go ask my roommate something really quick.”

“No,” I say, wobbling on one foot like a drunk flamingo. “It’s not Mars, Shelbs. The Prices are fine. More than fine. They were here last night. You’ll meet her when you get here—” “Wait—her?” Shit. “Ryan Langley, do you have a puck bunny in that house?” “I’m hanging up now.” “—can’t believe you. Don’t think I won’t tell Josh. Your first priority should be your recovery, not adding notches to your bedpost—” “Okay, byeeee,” I say, drawing out the “e” as I hang up on her.

not bothering to get a shirt. I hurry into the main room and look around. She’s not out here, but she was. The kitchen smells like fresh coffee, and there’s a few new dishes drying on the rack. Her laptop and legal pad are stacked beside a leather backpack on the table. From back down the hall, I hear the unmistakable sound of a hair dryer and I breathe a little sigh of relief. She’s still here.

“Who is it?” I call out, just to be a dick. “Open the door, Langley. The ice cream is melting!” That has me on the move, twisting the bolt on the lock to let Shelby in. She sweeps past me, her hands full of bags, big sunglasses framing her face. She’s tall and skinny, built like a volleyball player. In fact, I think she may have played in college. Her long, dark ponytail swishes as she walks.

“You look like shit, Ryan,” she says in greeting. “Have you even showered since the Classic?” I just shrug. “I’ll get around to it eventually.” She squares off at me, hands on her hips. “You’ll do it today, or I’m gonna hose you down in the front yard. Don’t think I won’t. And if you’re entertaining bunnies in here, I’ll do the sheets at the same time.” “Nice to see you too, Shelbs.” Remembering her manners, she sweeps forward and wraps me in a hug. “Oh—” she stiffens in my arms. “I’m sorry,” comes Tess’s voice from behind me. Shelby pulls away and peers around me. I glance over my shoulder, my gaze feasting on Tess wearing curve-hugging black leggings and a cropped Ferrymen top. She’s layered it with an open fleece zip-up in a soft grey color. Her red curls frame her face, her freckles on full display. “Well, you don’t look like a bunny,” says Shelby in greeting. “Excuse me?” says Tess. “You’re Doc Price’s friend.” Shelby steps around me, holding out a hand. “It’s Tess, right? Hi, I’m Shelby O’Sullivan.”

“Rachel offered me use of this place while I’m in town. Seeing as they’re all newlyweds, I thought it best I not be underfoot.” Shelby laughs. “Yeah, I can imagine it’s a bit chaotic over there.” “And I’m only here because of this,” I add, gesturing down at my braced knee. “Well, then it’s kismet,” Shelby replies. “You’re welcome to any of this food by the way,” she calls over to Tess. “I’m fine,” Tess says,

“I don’t have any ideas about you, Shelby,” Tess says. “I’m just having a bad day.” Shelby glances at the clock over the stove. “It’s barely 8:00 a.m.” Tess slips her fresh cup of coffee out from under the drip spout and transfers it to a travel mug. “Yeah, and I’m already this level of done. So, trust me when I say that it’s not you, it’s me.”

saying. “Tess, your phone,” I say for a third time. “Fuck’s sake, Ryan,” she cries, snatching it off the table. “If I wanted to answer it, don’t you think I would?” A chill seeps down my spine as I take in the haunted look on Tess’s face. Her sudden appearance here in Jax is making more sense by the minute. “Who’s calling you so many times?” I need her to say it. I need her to confirm my suspicions. “Mars is almost here,” she says. “I gotta go.”

“Jeez, she’s kind of a capital B bitch, huh?” My gaze lingers on the window as I watch Tess climb into the passenger seat of Ilmari’s big silver truck. “No,” I hear myself say. “She’s just going through some tough shit right now—and no, I won’t elaborate,” I add, giving her a glare. The corner of Shelby’s mouth twitches with a smile. “You like her.” “I don’t know her,” I admit, and fuck if that’s not the truth. Tess hasn’t told me a damn thing about what’s happening to her and why. “Be careful with that one, Ryan” Shelby warns. “Why?” I hear myself say. “Because she’s not a bunny,” Shelby replies. “You think I don’t know that? Women like Tess don’t end up with guys like me.” Shelby tips her head to the side, appraising me. “Why do you say that?” I go still, not realizing I said that out loud. “Come on,” I say, forcing a laugh. “Tess Owens is a total ten. She’s gorgeous and so fucking smart. She’s a high-powered corporate lawyer, Shelbs. She runs non-profits and saves endangered animals, and I’m…me,” I finish with a shrug. Now Shelby is laughing. “Yeah, and you’re just an NHL superstar. You’re smart and funny and handsome as heck. Oh, and in your free time, don’t you volunteer to coach youth hockey?”

“Tess may be a ten,” Shelby goes on. “But I’m not convinced she’s WAG material.” I glance sharply her way. “Well, if she’s not a bunny and she’s not a WAG, what is she?” Shelby just gives me a knowing look. “She’s a cataclysm.” I blink. “A catawhat?” “Chaos walking,” she replies. “I have a feeling your Tess is a runner. She’s the kind of woman who loves you and leaves you in the same breath.” “How do you know that?” “I see the signs,” she replies. “You want my advice?” I just shrug, knowing she’ll give it either way. “Stay away from her, Ryan…unless you’re ready to suffer an epically broken heart.”

I switch between crying and sucking down air as my phone buzzes in my pocket with more missed calls. I can’t stand the feel of it touching me. It’s as unwanted as Troy’s actual physical touch. Even from such a distance, he can still force his way on me. Jerking the phone from my pocket, I drop it down into the cupholder where it continues to softly buzz. The sound is muted by the truck’s engine and the quiet hum of the radio. “When you’re ready,” Ilmari says, still not looking my way.

“She looks like her,” I say at last. “I remembered seeing her on beach day, but she had a big hat and the kids and the dogs. I didn’t focus on it too much then. But this morning she really did look just like her. It took me by surprise is all,” I finish, sniffing back my tears.

“Who does she look like?” “My husband’s secretary,” I reply, my mind flooding with the memories I try so hard to keep locked away. “They had an affair for almost a year. I caught them together…more than once. By the end, they weren’t even trying to hide from me.”

“Is his infidelity the reason your marriage ended?” Ilmari asks. “One of the many reasons,” I admit. “It certainly sped things along.” Ilmari glances down to my buzzing phone. “Your phone is ringing.” “I know,” I reply, gazing resolutely out the windshield as I watch the palm trees flash by. “It’s him,” Ilmari intuits again. “Yes.” “Rachel told me today might be difficult for you, though she didn’t say why. She’s given me strict instructions to bring you home with me.”

“Fine you may be, but I do as I’m told. You’re not leaving my sight until I deposit you safely in my wife’s arms.”

“Hey, Mars, will you do something for me?” He glances my way, keeping one eye on the road. “What?” Slowly, I reach forward and pick up my phone. A half-dozen missed calls and a string of text messages light up the screen. Troy is in rare form this morning, desperate to hurl his insults and cut me down. I hold out the phone towards Ilmari. “When this rings again, will you answer it?” He glances down at it with a frown. “Why is he calling you?” “Because before I left, I signed divorce papers,” I reply. “A courier delivered them to him this morning.” His brow furrows. “I thought you were living apart. Years, it’s been. That’s what Rachel told us.” “Yeah, it’s been three years since we shared any semblance of a life or a marriage.” “And yet you stayed married to him. Why?” “It’s complicated,” I reply.