Back To Me

by Kami Holt

We were protective as brothers. That had always been a role that we took very seriously. We made sure to spoil and show our sisters love. We gave them the world so they wouldn’t be easily impressed by these chumps out here selling a dream.

I was the owner of Reign Supreme, which was a clothing boutique. Our location was in a popular strip mall, so it was imperative that we opened on time.

Minister Jarrod Joseph and my evil stepmother, Eva, had made it clear that my “bastard child” and I were not welcome into their home. My biological mother had passed away giving birth to me, so Eva was the only mother figure I knew. Being a pregnant teen was frowned upon, especially when your father is a leader in the church.

I thought that love was the answer for everything, but in the end, I was left alone, pregnant, and in community college with no support.

Denae is that type of person who tries to cover up her shadiness with jokes. Usually, I would just ignore her, but I was fed up today.

Your daughter is just happy that she has you now. She could care less about the how’s and the why’s. All she wants is you. Focus on that.” His words were what I needed.

Reign was innocent in all of this, so I never wanted her to feel like she had to choose between the two of us. Nayeli may have done me dirty, but based on what I've seen, she’s an amazing mother. I would never want to do anything to discredit that.

That was something I was in agreement with. I spent most of my childhood trying to live for others. Nowadays, my only goal is doing things that genuinely make me happy. To hell with what anyone else thought about it.

“You’re probably right because nobody tells me how to run my life. I don’t care about what a blog has to say about me. That shit doesn’t pay my bills. An opinion never produced any cash flow for me, so I could never allow people to dictate what I do.

fuzzy braids and all. So you gone get me together? Or do I need to book with somebody else?”

play with something safe. I would hate to tear up that poor girl's shop because you wanted to test me. I’ll braid your hair when I come back tonight.” Miyana flipped her hair then waved in my direction.

My mind was imagining what it would have been like raising Reign in the same home as Nayeli. What it would have been like to be an actual family. Those were the thoughts that had been keeping me up at night—the “what ifs” and missed opportunities.

Rule reminded me every day that I was beautiful and worthy of love. He was barely a man himself at the time, but he knew the value of uplifting the people he loved.

made sure to tell me how gorgeous I was every single day. In the beginning, it was difficult to adjust to because it was foreign to me. My stepmother used to buy bleaching cream because she said that it would help get some of the black off.

I watched him do the same thing with Reign since they’ve been in each other’s lives. He had been calling her his Pretty girl from day one. It melted my heart because he was everything that a father should be. He reaffirmed her daily that she was worthy, loved, and beautiful.

Ever since I learned about Reign, I have been conflicted about how to respond. I wanted to confront Dove about what happened, but I knew that I couldn't come at her the wrong way.

We were so young back then so I understood that she might have been afraid. My biggest issue was that I thought that I was her safe space.

He was everything I needed in this life. He was the greatest prayer God ever answered for me. Just knowing that this was where he found his peace made me so happy. It was something that I always wanted to provide for him.

“When I found out that I was pregnant, I told my Dad and Audra. My father was really upset, but he told me that we would figure it out as a family.

Naturally, I followed his lead because I trusted him to have my back. When I came home from work a few days later, Alton and Tee were in the living room with my dad and Eva.

Based on what they should be, you were in a position to make millions over a two year period. They explained to me that a lot of those endorsements were being given because you were looked at as a role model for young men,”

“Th-they told me that being a teen father would ruin your brand as a role model for young boys. Once the sponsors found out about the baby, they would pull all of their funding from you.

“You were so excited when you found out about Kellogg’s wanting to put you on a cereal box.” I chuckled through my tears. “I didn’t want to take that away from you.

You were always taking care of me. There was no way that I could allow everything you worked so hard for to be taken from you.

“Alton basically explained that you would lose everything. Not only that, you would have to pay back the money that had already been invested into you. So not only would you lose your career, you would be in debt.

When I got home, I had to break the news to my father that I was not able to go through with the procedure. He told me that he understood but that I wasn’t going to be able to live with them because they couldn’t allow the church to find out about my pregnancy.

At the time, it sounded like the perfect plan. You wouldn’t have to lose your career, and my dad would be able to save my grandfather’s church. I was so devastated, but there really wasn’t much that I could do.”

My father had sold me out for a paycheck and had conspired against me.

You bring me peace in my mind. You shine a light on the darkest parts of my soul. Without you and Reign, I was simply existing in this cold ass world.

You give me purpose. You challenge me to be a better father and man because I know that I have something worth holding on to. I’m happy, genuinely, completely happy. I wouldn’t have been able to say that a year ago or even three months ago.

You gon’ be my wife one day. The person who carries my legacy. The glue that holds our family together. I want you to accomplish every dream you have for yourself, but if all you ever do is wake every day and just exist, that would be more than enough for me.

“It just hurts, you know. Rule and I both have been missing a part of ourselves for years while the people we trusted took advantage of us. Rule won’t allow me to beat myself up about it, so I'm working on that,” I admitted. It made me feel better to know that he didn’t blame me for all of this.

Which means when you thought you were singing for a $500,000 brand deal, it was actually $750k-1million. They were pocketing the rest of the money and only paying you half.

I never knew it was possible for a man to love a woman the way that he loved me. Even with everything that we had been through. It made me want to work even harder to make sure that I was worthy of all the love he was pouring into me.

“She takes care of every part of me: mind, body, and soul. There isn’t a woman alive that can bring me the peace that she does. Just having her around me brings instant calmness to my soul. She’s everything I never knew that I could have. She’s my everything.”