A Kingdom This Cursed and Empty (Kingdom of Lies, #2)

by Stacia Stark

And if our dreams get broken along the way, we have to make new ones from the pieces.

If she thought she could get away with it, she would kill me in a heartbeat. That thought shouldn’t make me hard.

The fury, I could handle. Nothing burned brighter than the two of us locked in a power struggle. But it was the misery I caught when she thought I wasn’t looking that raked at me with vicious claws.

But the thought made my gut clench. Made my mouth dry. The wildcat was mine, and I would protect her until she came to that exact realization. So, I’d give her the time she needed—just enough time for her to understand she belonged with me. Even if Prisca hadn’t immediately loathed me the moment she learned who I was, she would have eventually loathed me when she learned the kinds of things I’d done in my brother’s name. The bloodstains on my hands would never wash off. The thought of all that blood hadn’t bothered me for years. Until I’d met Prisca and something inside me—something I’d thought was dead—had slowly come to life once more.

Everything I’d done had been necessary. I held no regrets—except that she now looked at me as if I was dangerous to her. Not to her physical body, but to her heart. Her peace of mind.

knew the reality of such loneliness. Had spent most of my childhood lost in solitude. Not only was the wildcat alone, but she was now expected to walk into a role she had never asked for. I never wanted her to feel alone like I had.

Loneliness could swallow you until you were nothing but misery and rage. And I refused to let that happen to Prisca.

At this very moment, I was responsible for that loneliness. I may have orders, but I was the one directly responsible...

Because I was tired of seeing the shadows beneath her eyes. Tired of seeing my wildcat grow depressed and withdrawn. I wanted to see her smile just once, even if she would never again smile at me.

I just wanted her to be mine.

In my darkest moments, when I missed her the most—even as she sat right next to me—I listed what I did know. And I wondered if those small details would be enough to carry me through the rest of my life.

I knew she loved valeo and that the sweet fruit reminded her of her father. Knew she liked to lounge in a hot bath until the water was cool and her skin wrinkled. I knew she was one of the most loyal people I’d ever met. I knew she was cunning and clever, and that she would do anything for the people she loved.

What would it be like to be counted among those people? It wouldn’t happen. But if the coming weeks were the last we’d spend togeth...

“You can tell yourself whatever makes it easiest for you to hate me, wildcat. But it was real. All of it.”

“It makes me hard when you defy me, wildcat. One day soon, I’m going to make you suffer for every snide comment you’ve said. For every moment you refused to listen.”

“Hate me, rage against me, refuse to admit what you feel. But don’t you dare treat me like a stranger.”

More. I wanted more. I always would when it came to this man. And that was what made him so fucking dangerous.

“This is never going to work. You and I. We’re doomed. You know that.”

“But that doesn’t mean I won’t wish for you with every fucking breath for the rest of my life.”

“When you pushed me off that horse, it was one of the worst moments of my life. All I could think about was how you were alone, hurt, and unable to access your power.”

“You’ve only just begun to let me near you again. Forgive me if I wasn’t willing to watch you look at me like I was a monster once more.”

So yes, I hid my secret for my people. And because I didn’t want to see the terror in your eyes when you looked at me. But I also did it for you.”

“I’m not stupid. I’m not someone you would have chosen to be with. I’m someone you were intrigued by and attracted to despite yourself. I’ll never be safe, Prisca. I’ll always be the monster who slaughters anyone who attempts to hurt you. I don’t know how to be anything else. My mistake was attempting to shield you from the sight of that monster.”

“I can still be the man you laughed with. The man you allowed to touch you, to taste you. Just as I can also be the man who will kill viciously when provoked. And nothing provokes me more than the sight of you in danger.”

His lies had hurt the most.

He turned, heading toward the river. “Go on,” I snarled, frustration coursing through me. “Walk away. Why would I expect any different?”

“You keep pushing, and I’m going to lose control.” He turned fully to face me, and a cruel smirk curved his lips. “But perhaps that’s what you want. You want me to take you in anger, wildcat? To make you moan my name while you writhe beneath me…all while you loathe me for every second of pleasure? I’ll do it. But you won’t get it by taunting me. You want hate sex? You’ll have to beg.”

If Prisca was asking me questions, I would answer them all day simply to hear the sound of her voice.

“What happened, then?” “That is not for me to tell you. I love that boy like a son,” he said, and I almost smiled at the thought of Lorian as a boy. “And yet, I’m not blind to his faults. His temper is as bad as yours. Only, when he rages, people die. But of all the accusations you can level at Lorian—and I’m sure there are many—you can’t accuse him of indiscriminate murder. Ask yourself what reason Lorian would have had to attack Crawyth. And then ask yourself if, after everything you’ve seen from him, after everything you’ve learned, it seems like something he would do.”

As much as the thought of separating hurt, it was for the best.

“I missed you.” He said it simply, unashamed. As if it were simply a fact. “Have you missed me, wildcat? Have you thought about the feel of my hands on you? My mouth on you?” I sucked in an unsteady breath. His eyes darkened. “I thought so.” “That doesn’t mean anything.” “That’s where you’re wrong. It means everything.”

“This changes nothing.” His smile was bitter. “Fine. If this is all we’ll ever have, then I’ll take it.”

You want me to take you in anger, wildcat? To make you moan my name while you writhe beneath me, all while you loathe me for every second of pleasure? I’ll do it. But you won’t get it by taunting me. You want hate sex? You’ll have to beg.” “You bastard.”

“What. Do. You. Want?” he growled. “You know what I want.” “I’ve been burning for you since we left the castle. And I’m feeling mean. You’ll beg me, Prisca.”

She sniffed, glowering up at me. “Why? Are my feelings too much for you?” “No. Because I want to gut anyone who made you cry. And I don’t want to have to impale myself on my own sword.”

She knew the worst parts of me, and instead of running, she was trembling against me. Trembling with rage. If she could, she would make my brother pay. He was her only hope for an ally, and she would hold this grudge. She would nurture it until the time was right. I knew her well enough to know that much.

I was desperate for a hot meal, a warm bath, and my woman. Although I’d take Prisca first if I could convince her to overlook my rough appearance. I ran one hand over my unshaven jaw and pictured her lost in pleasure and grinding on my face.

Fear wasn’t an emotion I was used to. But it slithered through me now, oily and cold.

Something in the region of my heart melted. It wouldn’t stop me from roaring at her just as soon as I found her alive.

“I’ve never asked you for anything. I’ve protected you, Emara, and this kingdom since I was old enough to swing a sword. And the first chance you had, you lied to me, terrified Prisca, and separated us.”

“You would make an enemy of your king?” “No. But you will listen carefully when I tell you this—if you try to keep me from Prisca again, it will become your biggest regret.”

He flashed his teeth in a grim smile. “Imagine my surprise when I returned to camp and found you’d left without me.”

“Let me be clear.” Lorian smiled grimly at Cadrus. “I’ll be taking the wildcat. If you have a problem with that, you’re welcome to challenge me for her.” Of all the overbearing, possessive, arrogant… “Did you lose what little sense you had left?” His gaze drifted back to me. “I’ll deal with you later.” “Stab him,” I ordered Cadrus. “We’ll leave him bleeding out right here.”

“If you’re ever taken, I will find you. No matter how long it takes.” “And if you’re dead or captured?” “Galon and the others will find you.” “You’re being entirely unreasonable.”

“You ever do such a thing, and I’ll find you. Wherever you are. Even if you’re in Hubur. I’ll make my way to the underworld, and I’ll drag you back.”

He pulled me close. “You terrified me. Don’t do it again.”

Just weeks ago, I’d wondered what it would be like to be one of Prisca’s inner circle. To be someone she cared enough for that she would do anything for them. Now I knew. It was incredibly inconvenient, and yet it made me want to grin with pride.

I wasn’t entirely sure when this woman had become as necessary to me as the air in my lungs. Maybe it was when she finally understood how to use her power—and used it to freeze me in place so she could kick me in the balls. Perhaps it was the moment I realized she’d never gotten on that ship. And she was instead in the most dangerous place she could possibly have been as she fought to free her best friend. It might have been when I saw her dying in that fucking castle and realized I was so completely out of my mind, it might as well have been me who was poisoned.

Maybe it was the way her voice had shaken with rage when she’d learned of my life in that camp when I’d only seen nine winters. Her fury that she couldn’t turn back time and rescue the boy I’d been. There were so many moments that had shown me who she was. Had demonstrated her bravery, loyalty, and cunning.

I was tired of fighting it. It was time to make sure my wildcat knew I’d wanted her from the start. And I...