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“Guys, I can’t feel my nuts. I think my suit might have shrunk in the wash or something.”
“Perhaps your body is going into fight mode, Baby Hulk, in response to the threat of adulting. Except, in your case, that means all available blood has rushed to the only head of yours that continues operating under duress.”
I’m straight, but I’m just not thinking straight. Oh, no. What if my supersuit was so tight it cut off my air supply… Through my nuts?!
“Suarez family cat wrangler! How may I direct your bullshit?”
There was no reason for me not to tell my gay brother and his gay mafia queen that I might like dick. Hell, the whole gay family would probably throw me a big gay party to celebrate me joining the rest of them on the apparently more exciting side of the playing field.
I bristled—mostly because of how she was insulting Zion. Everyone knew I was dumb, but I refused to stand here and let her insult my man. Wait, what? WHAT?!
“You think you’re such a cock wizard that you can land every straight guy you see? Is that it?”
Stupid Lizard King with his fucking lizard dick that’s so stupid hot…
I am so super gay now.
I told you. I. Want. That. Fucking. Mate. Bite.” Gimme.
“As you wish, beautiful. Strip down to your jock, and start running. I’ll give you a five-minute head start.”
There was nothing like running through the forest while only wearing a jockstrap to make you question your life choices.
Although, at least the jock is keeping my boner in line.
Come and get me, you crazy lizard.
“Give me that cock and that goddamn bite.”
