Assistant to the Villain (Assistant to the Villain, #1)

by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

“Um, yes— The blood’s not great…but I was referring to the fact that you look like you were carved out of marble, and I just think that as a rule of thumb, inherently evil people should be grotesque-looking.”

“You just can’t kill people and be pretty. It’s confusing.” Evie began unwrapping the wool scarf her little sister, Lyssa, had given her on her last birthday, stepping closer to The Villain and holding it up like a signal of peace. “For the blood, Your Evilness.”

Shaking his head, a small dose of wonder in his eyes, he said, “You are chaos.”

“Normal” was for those who didn’t have the ability to stretch their minds past the unreachable end.

“My first what, you little tornado?” “Your first joke.” He grunted and opened his mouth to speak, looking quite outraged, if she were being honest. “Of all the—” He paused to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Sage, do you honestly think me incapable of humor?” “Of course I don’t think that,” she said earnestly. “You hired me.”

“I’ll remind you that, at your bequest, I haven’t actually killed an intern in several months.” Evie shook her head hopelessly. “Sir, I hate to belittle your successes, but there are people who go their entire lives without killing anyone.” His face remained serious. “How dull.”

He was a puddle on the floor, and every speck of dust in that room was his enemy.

“No. I have a condition where my tear ducts produce an excess of warm, salty water when I’m tired or in distress.”