The Kaiju Preservation Society

by John Scalzi

“I tried being a vegan for a while, but I couldn’t live without cheese.” “They have vegan cheese.” “No, they don’t. They have shredded orange and white sadness that mocks cheese and everything it stands for.”

“The only real question is, who are the monsters?” “They ask that question in every monster movie, you know. It’s an actual trope.” “I know,” Tom said. “What does it say about us that it’s relevant every single time they ask it?”

“No one anticipates surprises,” Kahurangi said. “That’s what makes them surprises.”

“You have rage issues,” Kahurangi said, after a second. “If I had rage issues, he’d be dead.” “Are you sure he’s not dead?” Aparna asked. “I can hear him whimper when he breathes,” Niamh said.