Happening

by Annie Ernaux

when a new law abolishing discrimination is passed, former victims tend to remain silent on the grounds that “now it’s all over.” So what went on is surrounded by the same veil of secrecy as before. Today abortion is no longer outlawed and this is precisely why I can afford to steer clear of the social views and inevitably stark formulas of the rebel Seventies—“abuse against women”—and face the reality of this unforgettable event.

As was often the case, you couldn’t tell whether abortion was banned because it was wrong or wrong because it was banned. People judged according to the law, they didn’t judge the law.

the pain I was about to inflict on myself would be nothing compared to the suffering experienced in death camps. This thought gave me courage and heightened my determination. Also, knowing that hundreds of other women had been through the same thing was a comfort to me.

(I realize this account may exasperate or repel some readers; it may also be branded as distasteful. I believe that any experience, whatever its nature, has the inalienable right to be chronicled. There is no such thing as a lesser truth. Moreover, if I failed to go through with this undertaking, I would be guilty of silencing the lives of women and condoning a world governed by male supremacy.)

Maybe the true purpose of my life is for my body, my sensations and my thoughts to become writing, in other words, something intelligible and universal, causing my existence to merge into the lives and heads of other people.