Don't Forget Me Tomorrow (Time River, #2)

by A.L. Jackson

Before Dakota and Paisley could continue on about that bullshit, I’d left. I’d had to get the hell out of that house before I did or said something that I couldn’t take back.

Only I was feeling the exact thing that was clearly rolling through Cody. The need to hunt. Track this fucker down. End him before he had the chance to taint the beauty that was Dakota.

“Pretty cool of you to let her stay at your house until this blows over.” How he made it both come out as gratitude and a threat, I didn’t know. “You know I’d do anything for her.” He barely nodded, but there was something disbelieving behind it. “She looks at you like you’re a fucking saint walking on water.” I tried to ignore the insinuation. Refusing to take it in as truth. But I’d be a liar if I denied it. The way she did look at me. The way she felt. The way she’d let me crawl all over her if I asked. The way she’d let me take. But I wasn’t worthy of that, and Cody never hesitated to point that out. He didn’t know the details. But he knew I was dirty. And I would never be fucking good enough for his baby sister. I was well aware of it myself without him needing to remind me.

It wasn’t like it was the first time we’d shared words like this. But it might have been the first time I wanted to tell him to fuck off. Tell him he didn’t have the first clue what I would really do for her. I glanced at the car sitting in the third bay. What I needed to remember was he was right. I couldn’t have her. Not when I’d already given it all away. My heart thudded an erratic beat. Not unless I could fucking get it back.

Paisley was grinning at me, as smug as could be, and Evelyn was propped on the stool next to her. “I figured you would be missing my face by now. I mean, how could you not?” Paisley waved at herself. “It’s been two whole days, and you know I have most definitely not been missing your face.” I sent her my best glare, even though it was hard to back it with any real anger.

Paisley cleared the roughness from her throat and pinned on that easiness she loved to wear, tossing a lock of her nearly white hair over her shoulder. “Are you going to feed me or what?” I scoffed. “Feed you? Didn’t you see I’d pinned a picture of you on the front door saying you’re banned from the restaurant?” The gasp she let go of was ridiculous. “Ban me? The greatest friend you could ever ask for? The one who promised to help bury the bodies if ever necessary? Your ride or die?” “My ride or die who keeps trying to throw me under the bus,” I grumbled. “I’m just trying to get you a ride, Dakota. You should be thanking me.” “Thanking you for what? Insinuating something you know isn’t there? You have to stop that. The only thing you did was make Ryder go all big-brother bear on me while I’m having to stay under his roof. No thank you very much.” “I was just feeling out the waters…and believe me, they were hot. Scorching, Dakota.” She dragged out the last. Disbelief puffed from my lungs, and I kept my words low to keep them from any eavesdroppers hanging out in the restaurant. In Time River, there were bound to be plenty of them. “Hate to break it to you, but those waters are freezing cold. He’s just in a stir over this whole break-in thing. You know there is nothing there, so drop it, okay?”

Ever since she’d moved back, she’d been watching Ryder and me a little too closely. Looking for something that didn’t exist. But my bestie was a dreamer. A romantic of the highest sort. A believer of white knights and twisted fates and fantasies that always came to fruition.

She sat back, a challenge written on her face. “So, are you telling me you don’t want a ride?” I started wiping down the counter a little more aggressively than necessary. “The only thing I’m telling you is I’m never gett...

“One for Evie-Love and one for Paisley-Cakes.” Then I lowered my voice. “Who is still on my hit list.” Mischief was clear as she sat back and canted her head. “So, if you’re not over there waiting for Ryder, I guess that means you’re open to dating someone else.” Apprehension gusted, but I shrugged like it didn’t matter. “I’m too busy to date.” Paisley’s green eyes widened in horror. “No one should ever be too busy for love.” “That’s right. Love is really the most important, and we can’t get too busy for that,” Evelyn agreed. “I’ve got plenty of people who love me.” “But not the loved-up kind.” Suggestion glinted through her overexaggerated gaze. “Loved-up only leaves you messed-up.”

“I cannot believe you.” The hiss was out the second he was out of earshot. Paisley slowly swiveled back around, far too proud of herself. “You can’t believe me? I thought we already talked about you starting to date.” “No, I said I was too busy to date.” “No one should ever be too busy to get loved-up by his fine a-s-s.” She leaned forward to whisper-spell it. Doubling up on the precautions so Evelyn wouldn’t understand. “You are the a-s-s. I don’t need you to go setting me up. I have enough on my plate.” My voice was just as low where I was inclined her direction. Sure. I was trying to get over Ryder. But I didn’t think I was ready to fully date. It just didn’t…feel right.

Her head shook. “Brad might not be your love match, but you’re never going to know unless you try. It’s just one date. That’s all I’m asking of you. What could it hurt?” The problem was, there was that achy spot inside me that promised it would always hurt. This hole that could only be filled by one person.

She didn’t want to say something stupid like she was sorry, so she finally whispered, “I brought you something,” as she popped off the lid. The scent of chocolate and sugar and spice wafted up to her nose, and Ryder made a grumbled sound. “Of course, you brought me something.”

She passed him the tin, and he reached in for a cookie and took a bite. He tipped his head up to that starlit sky and chewed slowly, sniffling as he swallowed. He continued that way until he’d eaten the whole thing. Then he turned back to her. His big red smile was crooked. All wrong. “How’s it that just tasting something you baked could make me feel better?” She thought it was kind of a tease, and she rolled her eyes and faced forward. “I know it doesn’t make it any better at all, but I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.” That he wasn’t forgotten. He’d always made her feel like she was important, and she wanted to do the same for him. His smile tweaked a little deeper before he grabbed another cookie and took a bite, whispering around it, “No, Dakota. You’re right. It doesn’t feel better. I don’t know if it ever will. But I’m still glad you were thinking of me.”

“I told my aunt I wanted to stay at my house. That I’m sixteen, and I can take care of myself.” “She won’t let you?” His laugh was dark. “Maybe she would have, but she told me she has to sell the house. There are all these medical bills that need to be paid. So, that fucking cancer didn’t just steal my mom, it stole my home, too.” He spat it through clenched teeth.

“I have to get out of here.” He croaked it, disoriented as he looked around as if he were searching for something that had gone missing. “Where are you going to go?” Fear clotted her whispered words. His head shook harshly. “I don’t know. Anywhere. Just…away.” He turned and started to walk, disappearing into the thick bushes and trees. And she wanted to call out to him. Beg him not to forget about her. But she got the sick feeling in her stomach that he would.

“My Rye-Rye, I find you!” That little voice rode on it as he came running through the house, tiny feet pounding on the hardwood floors before he appeared in the entryway to the kitchen. The grin splitting his face nearly did me in, his chubby little hand in the air and the way he was pointing at me. “I find you!” “You did find me, didn’t you? How did you even know where I was hiding?” I set the big spoon on the counter and eased his way, hiking him up into my arms. “I a big boy,” he told me, so proud with that dip of his head. “That’s right, you are, and you knew exactly where to go, didn’t you?” I wondered if he’d always know it. If he’d know when he got older that he could come to me for anything. That I’d give it all.

But what got me was her expression as she took me in where I held her son. Cinnamon eyes shimmering with something so right. Like maybe she’d stepped in on her meaning, too.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Her voice was a wisp of appreciation. I eyed her with a smirk. “What, are you scared of my cooking? I might not be a pro, but I’ll have you know I can make a mean spaghetti sauce.” A tiny giggle slipped from her lips, and she shook her head. “I don’t doubt you, Ryder. You spent enough time with me in the kitchen when we were growing up, I’m sure you learned a thing or two.” It was a tease. Still, it rolled through me like seduction.

I was going to have to make that delivery tomorrow night, and maybe it’d just been that I needed to do something normal tonight, so I’d decided to make dinner. Maybe I needed something to remind me of the good before I devolved into depravity. Or maybe I just needed an excuse to be close to Dakota. It seemed the more I was around her, the more I wanted it. To be in her space. To experience her goodness, inhaling it like secondhand smoke.

“You’re not interested in dating, huh?” But the kink was a thing? Noted.

Hesitation brimmed in Dakota, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see something creep through her features. Something that shouted reservation and doubt. “I actually have a date,” she quietly admitted. I nearly dropped the plate I was holding to the floor, and I had to set it on the counter so I could regain my bearings. Heart thrashing. Teeth grating. I gave it my all to keep the asshole out of my voice. “Oh yeah? Who’s the lucky guy?” “Brad Geller. We’re going to dinner on Wednesday,” she added quickly. “That’s cool.” Too bad the words sliced like spears.

I had to force myself to move. To focus on carrying our plates to the table rather than spitting out the thousand things that spiraled through my mind. Rather than telling her the thought of it fucking killed me. Rather than begging her to give me some time. Rather than promising I was going to fucking fix this. But could I? Was it ever really going to change?

The whole time, we moved around each other in this discomfort that made it feel like we were walking through sludge.

I was refilling her wine, my back to her, when her voice finally broke through the tension. “You don’t think I deserve to find love, Ryder? Do you think I’m not desirable enough that someone would want me?” Hurt wove into her words. My chest felt like it was going to cave when I moved back to her. She stood in front of the table, facing out. Lifting that quivering chin, so brave and fierce and sweet. The sight of her hit me like a landslide. Quicksand. No way to get out.

“Do I think you’re not desirable, Dakota? You’re the most desirable woman I’ve ever met. And yeah, I think you’re worthy of love. Worthy of it more than anyone I know. Don’t ever mistake that.” I was just jealous that I wasn’t worthy of receiving it from her.

Before I fumbled and let myself cross a line I couldn’t, I stepped back and canted her a wayward grin. “I’ll even watch Kayden for you.” A frown twisted across her brow, and it took everything I had not to reach out and smooth it. To keep from telling her I wanted it to be me. But I couldn’t do that, could I?

“Now come on, let’s eat, your food is going to get cold. I didn’t work over the stove all afternoon to waste it.” The tease came easy. The way it always did. But stomaching the food was an entirely different story.

Snuggled up. Safe. Loved. All the things I hoped for my son.

But then it’d gotten awkward, the air filling with a tension that had writhed between us. I swore he’d been angry—jealous even—when I’d told him I was going on a date. Then he’d just grinned and said he would babysit Kayden for me, then sat down at the table and joked with me throughout dinner like nothing had happened.

These were the times that made me think…maybe. Maybe he did want me. But then I remembered I needed to stop thinking of him that way. Let go of this fantasy that would never amount to anything.

This distraction? It hadn’t helped. The only thing it’d done was make it disturbingly clear what I was missing. What I needed. My body throbbing and aching for something I’d gone without for so long. I’d only gone and made it so much worse, unable to do anything but replace the hero’s face with Ryder’s, a masochist because my own kept slipping in, too. And there went that dangerous fantasy. Round and round. A cycle I wasn’t sure I’d ever get free of. But it made it extra difficult when he was in the room two doors away.

Then I stilled when I got to the top and heard Ryder call my name. Low and grumbly. Crap. As quiet as I’d been trying to be, I’d woken him. He kept saying we weren’t a burden, but I had a hard time believing that when we constantly interrupted his routine. I shifted course so I could apologize. “Ryder?” I whispered as my hand went to his doorknob, and I twisted it and pushed his door open. Then I froze. Completely froze.

Arousal flooded me, and my knees went weak, my heart beating so hard and fast I felt it like a storm battering the room. Pulse running jagged, and my mind bending as I tried to process the sight.

Some logical part of me was shouting to turn and go. To shut the door and pretend like I had not stumbled in on this. But I was chained. Held captive by those gunmetal eyes that watched me like he’d fully expected me to be standing there. As if they’d conjured me. Compelled me to this spot. Lured and hypnotized.

I pushed my hand out in front of me like it was a shield, obstructing my view, when I was pretty sure this moment was going to be emblazoned in my mind forever. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to just barge in…I just…I thought I heard you calling me…I thought…” God. I was an idiot. A blabbering idiot. I finally got my bearings enough that I backed out, stumbling as I went, and I slammed his door a little harder than I meant to. Then I dashed down the hall and into my room, where I slammed that door, too. I leaned against the wood, trying to catch my breath, to rein in the sense I’d lost somewhere in his room.

“Oh God,” I whimpered. That horror began to thrum. It surged through me as I realized that I’d stood there watching him pump himself. For God knew how long. I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to block it. The only thing it did was cause it to become even more vivid. The way he’d said my name kept rolling through my brain, trembling through me in wisps of seduction that I knew better than to feel. I’d misinterpreted it. I had to have.

Pleasure glinted, glowing behind my eyelids as I decided to fully give myself over to the fantasy. Just one more time and then I would let him go.

Ryder Did you like watching me fuck my hand, Dakota?

Ryder Did you touch yourself thinking of me when you got back to your room? With those sweet hands that are way too clean to get dirty with me?

Ryder You were a fucking vision standing in my door.

Ryder Like you’d been manifested in my dreams.

Ryder Think it’d be a good idea for you to start locking your door, Dakota.

My heart clattered against my ribs, and I strained to hear any movement or sound. My breaths shallow. This confusion so thick the room was filled with a haze. Everything enclosed, the air and this tension that expanded in the space. A whirring hum that echoed in the room. Or maybe it was seeping in from the outside. In it was this lingering need. A call from down the hall. If I followed it, I knew it would lead to his door. A lure. A trap. My spirit ached to give it heed. To give into the tugging that pulled at the center of me. To see if this was real or if it was all a figment of my imagination. Self-preservation kicked in. I knew better than that. Ryder would never really want me. Not the way I wanted him. He’d told me, and I was a fool to believe anything else. A fool to respond and beg him to make good on the last text. So I forced myself to lie back in bed and ignore his messages. Both terrified and thrilled by the exchange. But I needed to remember that just looking at Ryder broke my heart. And I could only imagine what would happen if he touched me—even if it was only once.

If it weren’t for the text messages that had still been sitting on my phone, I would have chalked the whole thing up to a dream. But there they were. Glaring and real. The problem was, I had no idea what they meant, and deciphering them was a fool’s game. Ryder Nash could demolish me, and the last thing I needed was to get my heart shattered.

The presence covering me from behind was overwhelming. Intense and harsh and so much stronger than it normally was. The ground didn’t just shift a fraction this time, but it tipped far enough it made it difficult to keep my balance. To remain steady. Compelled, I looked over my shoulder. Ryder hovered at the entryway. Midnight in the light of day. All rigid lines and untamed hair and wicked eyes that stroked over me like a rough caress. One done with callused, needy hands. A shiver rocked through, and I swallowed it down, trying my best to ignore this strange, new energy that had taken his house hostage. Dense and deep. So thick it was hard to move through it.

“I know. It’s just…weird leaving him like this,” I admitted. “Is this what you want? To leave him like this? Do you want to go on this date?” It felt like a challenge. A frown curled my brow, and a bit of that old anger and rejection rose to the surface. “Isn’t it what I should do, Ryder? Move on with my life? Find someone to love me because I’ve been aching to love someone for a long, long time. You told me I deserved it.”

“You deserve everything. Had once thought I’d be the one to give it to you.” What? Confusion slammed me, bewilderment and distress, and my heart squeezed with the power of it.

“Yay. Bye, Mommy. You go now. I stay.” Kayden patted both my cheeks. Even through the turmoil, laughter puffed out, and I leaned in and pressed a kiss to the crown of Kayden’s head. “I see how easily I can be replaced.” Ryder came striding our way, and he leaned down and scooped Kayden up, pulling him to his chest. I stood at the same time as he did. He was so close. A raging fire. Those arms so strong and sure as he held onto my son. “No, Dakota, you can’t be replaced.” My knees knocked, and I wobbled on my feet, my breaths so shallow I couldn’t speak. But what was I supposed to say? What, when he was saying all these things that I’d longed to hear him say for years? The doorbell rang again. Crap.

I forced myself to open the door. Brad stood on the other side with his hands shoved in the pockets of his dress pants. Although he didn’t look all wickedly casual the way Ryder always did. He looked like he was having second thoughts. Especially when Ryder appeared in the doorway with my son in his arms. He held him protectively as he issued the words over the top of Kayden’s head. “Take care of my girl.”

Watching her stroll down the walkway with her elbow hooked in Brad’s was brutal. Fucking brutal when he led her around to the passenger side of his car and helped her into the seat then jogged back around before they drove off. While I stood on the porch staring like a stupid fuck who had no sense.