“Why do you do that to yourself, Ryder?” Broaching it felt insurmountable, pushing into his darkness. He wavered in it, pain rolling through his body, shadows haunting his eyes when he finally looked at her. “It was easier. Not feeling it. The hole my mother left.” The words hitched in his throat, and he sniffed like he was trying to hold back the grief, but Dakota felt the shockwave of suffering, anyway. “It hurt so fucking bad that I just…” His head dropped in shame. “I just couldn’t, Dakota. I couldn’t. It’s like I’ve spent the last six years terrified of loving and terrified of never
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