And I found I couldn’t move into the space. Found I was rooted to the spot, standing there in the doorway watching Ryder read my son a story, lost to the infectious laughter that rolled from Kayden as Ryder changed his voice with the different characters. Lifting it high and dropping it low, making the sound of a racing car and the beep of a horn. Lost to everything Ryder kept saying. To the greed that kept surfacing and the hidden shame that would shut him down. And I wanted to sink into it. Disappear into those hidden places. Dip my fingers in and invade. Understand where it was coming from
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