Never laugh when you don’t really get the joke. Stay right away from fireworks. Oh my goodness, stay right away from them! TV sucks out your brain cells. Don’t be a couch potato! Use the ad breaks productively for homework, housework, and other administrative tasks. Avoid the lethal combination of bourbon and salt-and-vinegar chips. Look both ways before you cross the road. Bothways. Try not to saddle yourself with too distinct a personality too early in life. It might not suit you later on. Say thank you to toll collectors. Your mum collected tolls once. Toll collectors are human beings.
