Three Wishes

by Liane Moriarty

Baths, she thought, were just like her relationships, all “ooh, ah” in the beginning and then suddenly, without warning, she had to get out, out, out!

No paradigm shift could eliminate a good strong dose of Catholic guilt.

The bills would keep on coming, no matter what else was happening in your life and that was good because it gave you a purpose. You worked so you could

pay them. You rested on the weekends and generated more bills. Then you went back to work to pay for them. That was the reason for getting up tomorrow. That was the meaning of life.

Death was the hot bath you promised yourself while you endured small talk and uncomfortable shoes. You could stop pretending to have a good time when you were dead.

It was always like that. They never said sorry. They just threw down their still-loaded weapons, ready for next time.

Never laugh when you don’t really get the joke. Stay right away from fireworks. Oh my goodness, stay right away from them! TV sucks out your brain cells. Don’t be a couch potato! Use the ad breaks productively for homework, housework, and other administrative tasks. Avoid the lethal combination of bourbon and salt-and-vinegar chips. Look both ways before you cross the road. Bothways. Try not to saddle yourself with too distinct a personality too early in life. It might not suit you later on. Say thank you to toll collectors. Your mum collected tolls once. Toll collectors are human beings.

I wanted to say to her, Oh, darling, don’t be sad. Whatever it is that’s worrying you will probably turn out to be nothing. Or eventually it just won’t matter anymore. And one day all you’ll

remember is blowing soap bubbles on the Corso with your sisters. And how you were young and beautiful and didn’t even know it.

Her future back then, thought Cat now, was like a long buffet table of exotic dishes awaiting her selection. This career or that career. This boy or that boy. Marriage and children? Maybe later—for dessert, perhaps. She didn’t realize they’d start clearing

the plates away so soon.

It had been years since she’d made a new friend—it was a little bit like falling in love, except without the stress.