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I understand the instinct to build the cocoon, somewhere safe and comfortable, a private place just for Paige and me. That’s what it feels like in this bed, with her body twined through mine like a knot that’ll never come undone. I don’t ever want to leave this space.
It’s the mental, emotional comfort of feeling truly content. A hole in my soul that is no longer screaming.
“Do you want to hear my theory?” I ask. “I think you like when I fight you. Everyone else is scared of you, but I press back. And you like it. It turns you on. Doesn’t it, baby?”
You’ll be responsible for clothing them, feeding them, and raising them, yes. But they’ll grow up and form their own opinions. They’ll make their own decisions. How can you be responsible for that?”
“You got my son to fall in love with you. If you can do that, you can do anything.”
Seeing her that way, breathtakingly beautiful, swollen with my children inside her… It unearths this primal possessiveness inside me. I want to scoop her in my arms and carry her to our room. I want to mark her as mine.
“You want me to say it? Fine! Yes, I was beyond fucking terrified when I heard that explosion go off. I could barely see straight. It’s a wonder I managed to get myself down to you in one piece. But—fuck—but…”
The only thing I did right is choose the best mother for both of you. She has everything I lack. And already, I know she’s going to love you the way that every child deserves to be loved.” I sigh and correct myself. “The way every person deserves to be loved. She deserves that, too. A full life with a husband who can step up for her. Someone to be the protector she never had.
To be the kind of husband that she always wanted. But I don’t have it in me to love her that way. Because if I lose her…”
It only occurs to me when I can finally breathe again that my wife knows exactly what she’s doing. For the first time, this is a war I might lose.
Sitting in the presence of her grace and beauty, I realize something: treating her right doesn’t feel like it takes any effort at all.
I made myself uncomfortable for him without even considering what I wanted. I’ll have to unlearn that.
I just have to hope I’m not a fool for daring to believe I can have it all.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you were not worthy of me, kiska. I’m sorry I forced you into a loveless marriage. But I’m most sorry for making you think that I didn’t care. Because the truth is, I love you, Paige Orlov.” He brings my hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to my knuckle. “I’m sorry I took so long to say it.”
You’ll get it one day, Maksim told me not long before he died. When you wake up next to a woman and realize that your sole purpose in life is to make her happy and keep her safe. That the quiet moments are the ones you’re living for.
the calm before the storm. It was never going to last.”
“Am I the storm?” Misha asks with amusement. I lean in and press my lips to his. “You are everything.”
