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It’s the mental, emotional comfort of feeling truly content. A hole in my soul that is no longer screaming.
“Do you want to hear my theory?” I ask. “I think you like when I fight you. Everyone else is scared of you, but I press back. And you like it. It turns you on. Doesn’t it, baby?”
“You got my son to fall in love with you. If you can do that, you can do anything.”
Seeing her that way, breathtakingly beautiful, swollen with my children inside her… It unearths this primal possessiveness inside me.
“You want me to say it? Fine! Yes, I was beyond fucking terrified when I heard that explosion go off. I could barely see straight. It’s a wonder I managed to get myself down to you in one piece. But—fuck—but…”
Konstantin smiles and leans forward. “Misha, you’re my cousin, my don, and my best friend. I’ve known you my entire life, and I’ve loved and respected you for the entirety of it. But if it comes down to betting on you or Paige… brother, I’m betting the house on her.”
“I want to give you the best home, the best life,” I whisper to my future children. “But I’m not sure I’m capable of being a good father. The only thing I did right is choose the best mother for both of you. She has everything I lack. And already, I know she’s going to love you the way that every child deserves to be loved.” I sigh and correct myself. “The way every person deserves to be loved. She deserves that, too. A full life with a husband who can step up for her. Someone to be the protector she never had. To be the kind of husband that she always wanted. But I don’t have it in me to love
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It only occurs to me when I can finally breathe again that my wife knows exactly what she’s doing. For the first time, this is a war I might lose.
I made myself uncomfortable for him without even considering what I wanted. I’ll have to unlearn that.
