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Misha’s body is pressed against my back, spooning me tightly like he’s trying to take some of my pain with his touch. Amazingly, it does work. A little, at least.
“Don’t let me go, Misha. Don’t let me go.” He doesn’t say a word. Maybe he recognizes there’s nothing he can say. He just holds me and waits for me to stop crying. When I finally do, he soothes me back to sleep.
I inch closer to him. Unlikely as it is, I still want to reclaim the closeness we had. “Misha, you told me—you promised me—that you’d stay with me.” He flinches and then turns away from me. A cold shoulder has never felt so frigid. “I shouldn’t have made a promise I didn’t intend to keep.”
Konstantin smiles and leans forward. “Misha, you’re my cousin, my don, and my best friend. I’ve known you my entire life, and I’ve loved and respected you for the entirety
of it. But if it comes down to betting on you or Paige… brother, I’m betting the house on her.”
I glance back at the full-length mirror behind me and then away again, horrified. I was excited about the lingerie when Cyrille first pulled it out of the bag. But now… “There’s no way I can wear this. I look like a pregnant stripper. I look like a Winnie the Pooh sex doll. I look like Shrek ate Shrek.” I hear a tiny snort of laughter from the bedroom.
It only occurs to me when I can finally breathe again that my wife knows exactly what she’s doing. For the first time, this is a war I might lose.
The plan is to head straight for my office and stay there until I have to leave again tomorrow morning. I don’t want to run into my mom or the temptress I married. But when I walk into my home office, I find it’s already been infiltrated.
She was right about the two of us having bad timing. When one of us is hot, the other is cold. Without fail. “That’s the thing, Paige. I thought I’d be happy to hear you say that. But I’m not.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you were not worthy of me, kiska. I’m sorry I forced you into a loveless marriage. But I’m most sorry for making you think that I didn’t care. Because the truth is, I love you, Paige Orlov.” He brings my hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to my knuckle. “I’m sorry I took so long to say it.”
We hold that chaste, soft kiss between us, letting it change the fabric of our relationship. It’s not about power or control. It’s not about anger or submission. This kiss is the start of something new.
She pushes me back onto the bed playfully and kisses my neck. I can almost hear my brother’s voice in my ear. The quiet moments are the ones you live for. That motherfucker was always right.
“Oh, God.” I fall onto the sofa and cover my face with my hands. When I peek through my fingers, I see him watching me, an amused smile playing on his lips. “You know,” I venture, “if you let me out of the tower, we can have this same kind of fun in the office when we’re supposed to be working.” The steel in those silver eyes begin to melt. He drops his chin to his chest. “Fuck.” That’s how I know I’ve won this one.
“I want a photoshoot. Picture of you in all the lingerie I’ve bought you. A private album just for me. Something I can look back on and remember exactly how I felt.” She looks amused by the idea. “And how do you feel?” I look her in the eye and say the only word that feels right: “Alive.”
Before I can ask a follow-up question, he spins me around and hoists me up into his arms. I yelp. “We are not having sex in here!” “I didn’t intend to,” he says as he carries me back out of the room and into the kitchen. “I just wanted to give you the tour. And God forbid I make you do it on your dainty little princess feet.” I slap him on the shoulder and laugh. “I’ll shove a dainty little princess foot up your ass if you keep talking down to me, Mr. Orlov.”
“But the thing is, when you meet the right person… you can’t stop love. No matter how hard you try.”
“Food, music, outfits, weapons training… Party-planning isn’t what it used to be.” “You know what they say in the Bratva, right?” I shake my head. “No.” She smiles. “It isn’t a party until someone starts bleeding.”
He holds my gaze for a long moment. Then he walks around the sofa bed and grabs my hips. “That was quite the speech.”
I frown. “Don’t distract me.” “How am I distracting you?” he asks. “I’m just standing here, talking to you.” “Stop looking at me with those eyes.” “They’re the only eyes I’ve got.” “Well, they should be illegal,” I snap. “It’s not fair. I came in here to shout at you.” “And you have accomplished what you set out to do. Very effectively, I must say. I was wrong. You were right.”
“What does it feel like?” he asks unexpectedly. “Falling in love, being in love.” I hesitate to choose my words carefully before answering. “I’m not as good at the ‘being in love.’ That part is new. But the falling… That’s appropriately named. Because that’s exactly what it feels like. Like you’re falling and you have no control.” “So it’s terrifying?” Konstantin deciphers. Usually, I wouldn’t admit as much, but there’s no denying the truth. “Yeah. Extremely fucking terrifying.”
Paige is sprawled on the cabin bed, my massive sweater rolled up around her wrists, with a huge bowl of pasta in her lap. Her hair is a matted mess. There’s pesto on her teeth. She has never looked cuter.
That thought is the final nail in the coffin. I have fallen in love with my wife. And there’s no going back.
I place my fingertip under her chin and force her teary eyes to mine. “I’m going to do whatever it takes to get back to you, Paige. I swear it.”
But even as I say it, I grimace. It’s yet another promise I may not be able to keep.
“I used to think that it was the worst thing in the world, having you really see me. I was convinced you’d hate me the moment you saw who I really was. And somehow, you’re still here.” “Because I love you.” “As I love you,” he says simply.
“What in the—” I peek into the dining room and see a banner hanging across the open French doors that says CONGRATULATIONS, MAMA in bright neon colors. Then I see Nessa, Nikita, Rowan, and Ilya standing around, smiling at me. “What is this?” “This is your baby shower,” Rowan announces. “We got you good, didn’t we?” I press a hand to my racing heart. “If scaring me to death is getting me good, then no one has ever done it better.”
I take her hand. “I know it wasn’t love, but betrayal hurts, no matter what.” Her sneer doesn’t change. “Not as much as death.”
It’s a fucked-up world we live in. We get what we don’t want; and what we want, we don’t get.
But in the dim light of this moldy hallway, in the same home that saw my brother’s last breaths, I realize that the fire that’s lived inside me since Maksim’s death is nothing but an ember now. My thirst for revenge is gone. All I want is peace. A little slice of quiet where I can sit with Paige and talk about our future. I want a nursery with two cribs and the sounds of our babies laughing. I want a glass of champagne and a starlit night on a balcony overlooking the city. Everything else is unimportant.
The door opens and one of the nurses walks in. “Sorry to interrupt, but your family is waiting outside to see the babies.” Misha looks at me and scowls. “Do we have to?” “Don’t be sour.” I smile up at him. “Time to let them in.” “Alright,” he grumbles. “Can’t delay the inevitable. Go on then—send the jackals in.”
