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One moment, she was there. The next, there were only pieces of her. Humans are so fragile. So easy to kill. I can’t stop thinking about how temporary life is. And how much of it we waste.
It’s the mental, emotional comfort of feeling truly content. A hole in my soul that is no longer screaming.
“Do you want to hear my theory?” I ask. “I think you like when I fight you. Everyone else is scared of you, but I press back. And you like it. It turns you on. Doesn’t it, baby?”
Seeing her that way, breathtakingly beautiful, swollen with my children inside her… It unearths this primal possessiveness inside me. I want to scoop her in my arms and carry her to our room. I want to mark her as mine. I want to destroy her like she’s destroyed me. In the best way possible.
“You want me to say it? Fine! Yes, I was beyond fucking terrified when I heard that explosion go off. I could barely see straight. It’s a wonder I managed to get myself down to you in one piece. But—fuck—but…”
“I want to give you the best home, the best life,” I whisper to my future children. “But I’m not sure I’m capable of being a good father. The only thing I did right is choose the best mother for both of you. She has everything I lack. And already, I know she’s going to love you the way that every child deserves to be loved.” I sigh and correct myself. “The way every person deserves to be loved. She deserves that, too. A full life with a husband who can step up for her. Someone to be the protector she never had. To be the kind of husband that she always wanted. But I don’t have it in me to love
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It only occurs to me when I can finally breathe again that my wife knows exactly what she’s doing. For the first time, this is a war I might lose.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you were not worthy of me, kiska. I’m sorry I forced you into a loveless marriage. But I’m most sorry for making you think that I didn’t care. Because the truth is, I love you, Paige Orlov.” He brings my hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to my knuckle. “I’m sorry I took so long to say it.”
