10 Things That Never Happened (Material World #1)

by Alexis Hall

“She made little Anthea cry,” adds Les. “Oh be fair”—this is Auntie Jack—“those braces did make her look like she’d tried to perform oral sex on a shopping trolley.”

Buckets of tinsel, miles of chains of beads, hundreds of fairy lights, and more sparkly balls than a season of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

“because cheating is wrong?” Barbara Jane puts her drink down carefully on the floor. “Not as wrong as making people play Monopoly in the first place.”

And I try not to let it feel wrong that it feels right, and to remember that I’m allowed to have this, and that things don’t have to suck forever.

Like I know we’ve shagged and that changes things, but I didn’t think my cock was the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Point is you were always really nice, but it always felt like you were nice because you knew that deep down the whole world was a joke with death as the punch line.”