In the Gray

by B.B. Reid

“Because I want to fuck you,” Rowdy eventually confessed. His deep voice dripped sex instead of malice now. “Today. Now. Five fucking minutes ago if you hadn’t distracted me with your fucking mouth.”

When Rowdy didn’t answer or slow his pace, I panicked. It was the only explanation for why I lifted our hands and savagely dug my teeth into the skin around his wrist until I tasted blood. “Yoooo!” Finally, Rowdy stopped walking and turned to face me with wide eyes. Holding his bewildered gaze, I turned my head to the side and spat out his blood coating my tongue before baring my bloodied teeth at him. “I said no.”

Rowdy pinned our hands against the brick wall, and I screamed again when he lowered his head and sunk his teeth into my wrist. A whimper tore out of me when I felt the skin break, and then warm liquid trailed down my arm. Only then did Rowdy lift his head. And then he rudely spat my blood on my clean white sneakers.

“Man, I was hoping to run into you!” Donny’s dick-riding ass greeted me with a grin. “I asked the new girl if I could run back there and talk to you, but she said you were busy.” That’s my baby, I thought with a smirk before I could catch myself.

“All right, fuck it, I’ll do it. But listen carefully, Donny. I will only say this once. Pride of King’s official business is my first priority. Your car won’t even be my second or third, and I don’t rush my work for anyone. It’s ready when I’m ready. With that understood, let me make something clear. You’ve got one time to ask me when your car will be done, and I won’t even sell it for parts. I’ll fuck you up first and then make you watch while I feed that bitch to a car crusher.”

“I doubt your friends are perfect.” “They’re the exception, not the rule. I’m stuck with their asses, and they couldn’t get rid of me if they died.” “I think you mean tried,” she corrected. “You heard what I said.”

“Look at me.” Her guilty gaze darted up to mine. “I don’t know if I made this clear, but I want you, and I’m not a patient man. I’ll give you a few more days to reconcile with the fact that we’re fucking. Tell yourself whatever you like. Lie that I really want more and just don’t know it yet if you have to. But when that day comes…” She made another sound when I adjusted my hand until I was palming her hot cunt. “This pussy will only weep for me.”

“I value actions above all else, and you’ve done nothing to show me you want me. All you’ve done since we met is try to scare and hurt me. Am I tempted? Yes. You’re fine as hell, and I haven’t been fucked in a while. You seem like you’re good for a nut…if nothing else. If hell somehow freezes over and I let you fuck me, I promise not to get my feelings involved. I know I’m much younger than you’re used to, but I don’t just fall for any man who shows me a little bit of attention. You don’t really seem worth the effort of falling in love. You’re a fuck boy, Rowdy Wray, and my mama always told me to take men like you with a grain of salt.”

“Oh, I’m mental, baby, and rule number one is never give us crazy ones any pussy.” I lifted my head just enough to meet the fire in her gaze. “Unfortunately for you, beautiful, you lost that privilege.”

“I hate you!” she screamed from the other side. The door thumped once from her pounding her fist. “I hate that pussy too!” I yelled back with a smile. “That’s why I’m going to beat it up.”

I watched Rowdy’s focus move from her face, and my heart dropped at the same time his gaze did. I felt the back of my eyes burn and inhaled to keep the hurt from spilling, but then my breath caught in my throat when his gaze completely skipped her body, torpedoing in on where our hands were still linked. Before I could think to drop Ruen’s hand, Rowdy—in full view of the other Kings—curved his finger around one of my belt loops and dragged me away from her.

Huffing, I snatched my panties from Ruen, only for Rowdy to snatch them from me and crudely sniff them before stuffing them in his pocket. He then wrapped a possessive arm around my shoulder and pulled me close until there was no space left between us. “Thanks, Rude,” he said, intentionally messing up her name. “You didn’t have to do that. Daddy would have just bought her a new pair.”

“Owen.” I felt it then. The subtle tensing of his shoulder beneath my palm. The recognition of this moment. Our moment. It was my first time uttering his name and his first time hearing me say it. It was an irrevocable turning point in our toxic love affair, and right now, it was unfolding for the world to see.

Rowdy whirled around, grabbed a fist full of my faux locs in a punishing grip and kissed me. For the first time. In front of prying eyes and enemies.

“Rowdy, wait,” she whispered, but my hand around her delicate throat cut her off. “No.” I found her mouth in the dark again and slipped my tongue inside. One hit of her, and I was already addicted. Atlas must have felt the same because it wasn’t long before she kissed me back. “Say my name,” I demanded against her lips. “I want to fucking hear it.” She didn’t even hesitate. “Owen.”

“If you don’t want me to follow you into fire, then don’t run into fire.” I was lowering my head to kiss her again when her words penetrated. Reaching up, I yanked the cord hanging from the ceiling, making light flood the closet and startling her when she saw my scowl. “Your fraud-ass stole that from Frozen!”

Above all else, guard your heart,” I recited to Rowdy’s bent head. I could have sworn he stiffened as if he knew what I’d say next. “For everything you do flows from it.”

“You demand things from me I’m not ready to give, but you’re so good at making me want them too—so much sometimes that nothing else matters. But then…then you make me feel like a fool for feeling that way, and I’m lost all over again. I know what I said before, but I lied, Owen. I don’t think I can give you my body without giving you my heart too.” Rowdy was still as if bracing himself for what I would say next. “But you said it yourself. You’re not interested in that part of me, and I couldn’t trust you with it even if you were.”

“But how did you know I was staying at the motel?” I paused and then mouthed, “Fuck.” Against my will, I turned around to face her. This was not the time to reveal I’d been stalking her pretty ass every chance I got. Some nights I even slept in the room next to hers just to make sure no one fucked with her. “Allow me to repeat myself. This is my city,” I stated arrogantly instead. “There’s not much I don’t know.”

Atlas always smelled like oranges and vanilla, making me want to pour some Patrón all over her body and get drunk off her ass. It didn’t help that I’d already sampled her pussy and knew she tasted just as good as she smelled—like a fucking dream. Without turning to confirm it was her, I said, “How can I help you, my little Dreamsicle?”

“Let me know if you have any more trouble,” I told her quietly. And then, not so subtly, I squeezed her ass, earning a glare from her. “It doesn’t matter how small; I want you to come and get me. It doesn’t even need to be work-related. Anything you need, and Daddy will make it happen. And Atlas?” I gripped her chin when her stubborn ass looked away. “Only me.”

“I’m not fucking you.” Rowdy gave a dry laugh. “You think that’s what this is about?” He shook his head and stalked forward. “Nah. I don’t stick my dick in disobedient pussy. I’m going to do what your father should have done a long time ago and saved me the fucking headache.”

“I know what you’re doing,” Rowdy said as he came to stand behind me. I could feel his tall, muscular stature looming over me like a shield between me and the rest of the world—maybe even myself—and I felt my stiff muscles slowly start to relax. “I know what you want. You want to use me to punish yourself for whatever you think you did before you darkened my doorstep.” My breath shuddered out of me when I heard his belt falling to the floor. He leaned over me then, his groin now flush with my naked ass as he planted his hands next to my head and whispered in my ear. “But I won’t let you,” he said, making me whimper. “Let that guilt go, baby. Whatever wrong you think you committed, leave it in the past. It doesn’t belong here. I won’t let it take any time away from us.” “What if I can’t?” I cried as tears streamed down my cheeks. “What if it’s too late?” “Then I’ll help you,” he said simply.

“What are you going to do?” I asked when a little of my common returned. It wasn’t enough to make me stop, but my legs gave a nervous tremble as he kissed down my spine. “I’m going to get my water back,”

“I still don’t know how you were stomping that guy out and punching him at the same time. Isn’t that like trying to pat your head while rubbing your stomach?” “There’s a lot of things I can do with my hands and other parts at the same time, Dream.”

“Are you gonna be a big girl, or are you going to back down again?” I gave a vehement shake of my head. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

“So, what’s your favorite song?” I asked him as I admired his profile. He had the longest lashes and his lips…my God. “The sound of you coming.” “I’m serious, Owen.” “So am I, Dream.”

I knew claiming her body wouldn’t be enough—would never be enough. I needed it all—her mind, heart, body…her fucking soul.

“So…is my daughter happy? Is she safe?” Kareena inquired. She peered up at me from the bed like she knew my interest in her daughter exceeded that of a boss. I cleared my throat. That nervous feeling crept down my spine again. “She’s good. I haven’t exactly been making things easy for her, but you should know your daughter can take care of herself.” Kareena searched my gaze, and then warm fingers weakly trailed down my cheek, and she smiled softly. “Something tells me she won’t need to.”

“I’d miss you,” he told me. “And if you left, I’d follow you. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than on your bumper, Dream.”

“Aye, you can do something for me,” Rowdy interrupted before I could curse her out. Usually, I’d refuse to argue over a man who wasn’t mine, especially not one who gave me whiplash like Rowdy, but sometimes, you just had to check a bitch. “First, you can keep this shit.” His ignorant ass crumpled up the bill and threw it at her forehead, where it bounced off and landed at her feet. “Even if I wanted to disrespect my girl and my dick by sticking it in you, I wouldn’t need your number to do it. Now, go get the manager with your unprofessional ass.”

From the moment she’d tried to kill me in a jealous rage three nights ago, I decided I was ready for a girlfriend, and I wanted that girl to be Dream. Fucked up, I know, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

“Don’t hurt me, Owen.” “It’s going to hurt a little,” I told her honestly. Physically and emotionally, something told me it was inevitable that I would destroy her. And then I sealed the truth with a kiss. “But I’ll try.”

“The first round was for you,” I told her as soon as her eyes cracked open the tiniest bit. “This next one is for me.”

We ended up tussling over her stuff from one room to the next until it ended with me throwing her shit all over the backyard and in my pool while she screamed at me to stop and called me every name but a child of God.

I thought about running her ass over when she slammed my damn door closed, but I refrained since I knew she’d probably never fuck me again if I did.

“I know you’ve been through some shit, so it might take you a while to believe me, but your back is my back, Atlas, and I’ll always have it.”

“I like you, Dream, more than I’ve ever liked anyone. I think about you all day, and even when I try to stop, I just wonder if you’re thinking about me too. I love making you smile, and I’m obsessed with making you come. I have no intentions of stopping anytime soon, so running away from me is a big fucking problem. I’d rather spend that time giving you what you came to Idlewild looking for.”

“I want to give you shelter and be your peace. I want to take care of you, Dream. I want to be yours. I won’t ask if you like me too because I don’t waste time with stupid questions. Instead, I’ll only ask one.” I held my breath and waited even though I already knew what his question—and what my answer—would be. “Can I be your boyfriend, Atlas Ilana Beck?”

“I thought fucking you would be enough, but I was lying to myself. I started to enjoy the chase a little too much, Dream. Suddenly, I had this endless patience like I’d follow you forever until you said yes, and I knew I wasn’t running you down just to fuck you. I was looking to make you mine. I kept forcing myself inside your head, not knowing I was pulling you into mine. His lips brushed my ear, and then he whispered, “You own me.” My lips parted, and I couldn’t quite catch my breath after his quiet confession. “You temper this animal inside of me, Dream, but you match it, too. My obsession with you…it’s violent and ugly, but it’s real. You’re the most honest thing I’ve felt in a long time, and I’m begging you for one more chance. We can’t go back in time, but we can change our future. Ask me not to let you go again, and I promise I won’t.”

“Fucking you, taking care of you, coming home to you every day…I haven’t felt this passionate about something since I fixed my first car. I can’t stop, Atlas. I will never stop. I need you to claim me too.”

“You always said you hated how I treated the women I’ve fucked, but you never asked me why,” he continued. I gasped when he added a third finger. “It’s because of you. I didn’t just wait my entire life for you, Atlas. I saved all my kisses and compliments. I swallowed every promise. I guarded my loyalty…for you. I kept my heart hard as stone so that when the day came I found the woman I couldn’t hold any of that back for, I’d know without a doubt that I’d found the one.”

“Fucking say it, Dream. Say yes. Make me yours.”

“Ever since I brought you home, you’ve had one foot out the door, and I didn’t like that shit. I kept telling myself you weren’t going anywhere, and it wasn’t because I wouldn’t let you but because you wouldn’t want to. And then you did. Keeping it real, you proving me wrong wasn’t even that big of a shock. Fear of who I am doesn’t stop you from calling me on my shit. It’s what drew me to you. That…and this,” he said, lightly tracing the discoloration on my face that, until recently, had been a great source of insecurity for me.

“What if I told you the markings on your face follow the same pattern as one of the constellations?” My belly dipped, and my breath rushed out of me as I searched his gaze for the answer. “I’d ask what constellation you’re referring to.” But I didn’t. Because I already knew. Leo.

“Realizing I’d do anything to make you stay. Nothing was off limits, Atlas. Nothing. I let someone I wasn’t sure about into my kingdom because it meant I could have you instead.”

When it comes to you, I’m always three steps ahead. Live it, breathe it, and don’t ever doubt it. I didn’t say anything before because, while I have no problems whatsoever steering this boat, sometimes, I want you to choose us without feeling like I forced your hand.

“Hurry up.” Annoyed, he dropped his head back to stare blankly at the ceiling. I shrugged and let his dick fall out of me. It hit his six-pack with a wet slap and bobbed in the air a little. “Okay, Daddy.” Scooting forward until I was straddling his abs, I wrapped my hand around his neck as if that would really keep him in place. And then I went.