The Graham Effect (Campus Diaries, #1)
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31%
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I’m six-five.
33%
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Drunk girls give the best compliments.
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“Use me.”
Jordan Kellerman
THATS THE HOTTEST THING IVE EVER READ
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I swallow again. “You’re being serious, aren’t you?” “Yes.” “You want to sleep together.” “Sleep, no. But I think we should fuck.”
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“Are you sure you’re not in the military?” He thinks it over. “No, I’m not,” he finally says. “Was that a joke? Oh my God. You made a joke.” “Shut up.”
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“Oh shit. I don’t know if I have condoms.” He peers at me, pensive. “Can I use one from your box of five hundred?” “Fuck off.”
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“Use me,” I order.
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Once everyone is suited up, Coach Jensen comes in for his first pep talk of the season. “Go out there and deliver.” He nods, then turns toward the door. “Wait, that’s it?” Patrick blurts out. Jensen turns around. “What? What else do you want? Do you want me to do a little dance for you?” “I, personally, would love that,”
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“In fact, one of our side gigs is marriage counseling,” Sheldon tells us. “We work primarily with couples whose marriages suffer from communication hiccups. So, if any of you young men are married and need guidance…” “I’d rather get divorced,” someone says. Several guys snort with laughter. Nance sighs and tries to direct our attention back to the course. “Before we get started, are there any questions?” “Are you really not brother and sister?” Nazem asks. “Any other questions?”
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“What the fuck is that?” I demand. “That, I believe, is a hippopotamus.” Gigi flashes a big smile. “You smile too much,” I accuse. “Oh no. Arrest me, officer.”
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“The butterflies need the warmth to fly. Do you not want them to fly, Ryder? When did this vendetta against butterflies begin?” “At a very young age,” he says solemnly.
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“You doing okay?” Pope gives me a suspicious look. “Yeah. Why? Did I do something wrong?” “No. Nothing. I was just checking in.” “Why?” he asks again. Shane starts to laugh. “Dude. You’re so bad at human interaction that people get suspicious when you inquire about their well-being.”
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My stomach is producing a Dan Grebbs-worthy symphony of growls and rumbles. I usually load up on protein after a game and I’m famished. As if reading my mind, Case says, “Should we go try to hunt a cheetah or something?” I chuckle. “Yes, all those cheetahs out here in the New England forest.”
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He tends to the fire again. Pale orange embers dance and float away in the darkness. Then he says, “I’m not usually such a dick.” “Oh.” I pause. “I usually am.”
Jordan Kellerman
at least hes honest
65%
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GISELE: I think I left my necklace at your house. Can I come over and look for it? I grin at the phone. This chick is the best.
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“So I was looking up butterfly mating habits the other day and I discovered⁠—” “I’m sorry, no,” Gigi interrupts. “You can’t just gloss over that. You were looking up butterfly mating habits?” I shrug out of my jacket, draping it over the back of her desk chair. “Don’t read too much into it. Honestly, I was only trying to figure out how they fuck. Like what part goes where.”
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do you want to come home with me?” “Home,” I echo. “Yes.” “With your parents.” “Yep, that’s what home means.” “Will your father be there?” “He lives there, so yes.” “Your father, Garrett Graham.” “Okay, you know what? I revoke the invitation.”
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After a prolonged silence, Wyatt crosses his arms and says, “What do you want with my sister?” “Wyatt,” Garrett says. Gigi’s twin glances at his dad. “No, I got this. I’ll tag you in if I need you.” His green eyes return to me. “Well?” I smother a sigh. “We’re together. Not sure what else you want me to say.” “Together,” he echoes. “What does that mean?” “It means we’re together.” “I’m tagging in,” Garrett says. His arms cross too. “Where do you see this going?”
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“Sneak in when everyone’s asleep?” “Absolutely not.” “Come on.” “I already told you, I’m not touching you under your father’s roof. This situation is precarious enough.” “What about sexy texting?” I stubbornly shake my head. “What if he and I accidentally switch phones?” “Why would that ever happen? Come on, just one dick pic.” “What is your obsession with me?” I drawl. “Do I need Jensen to send you his PowerPoint on sex addiction?”
82%
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Beau Di Laurentis
Jordan Kellerman
i will cry
90%
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“Why do you always have to ruin my jokes by digging too deep into them?” “Tell better jokes,” she advises.
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At one point Garrett jumps to his feet, shouting at the refs. “The hell are you doing down there! Use your eyes! That was clearly checking!” His outburst draws attention. Several pairs of eyes widen in recognition. Hannah yanks him back to his seat. “Garrett, sit down. I didn’t bring your fake beard and glasses.”
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“You can’t go out there,” he insists, getting in my face again. A fucking stampede wouldn’t be able to stop me from getting to Gigi. “Like hell I can’t,” I growl. And then I give him another firm shove, forcibly moving him out of my way. “That’s my wife out there.”
Jordan Kellerman
i screamed. out loud.
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He just sighs, shaking his head to himself. “You really love her.” “Till the day I die,” I say simply.
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“So this fucking asshole was running his mouth back then, and now he’s doing it again,” Trager says. “You know what they’re trying to do, right? They’re trying to distract us with this superfluous bullshit so that our heads aren’t in the game.” Angry murmurs go through the room. Me, I’m more impressed by the fact that Trager knows the word superfluous.
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“Christ, Ryder. You married my ex-girlfriend,” he says flatly. “No, I married my wife.”
Jordan Kellerman
A MAN