More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Chloe Gong
Read between
September 27 - September 28, 2023
Silas choked on a laugh. “I am far too young for you.”
Last she saw, Orion had chosen the bathtub for a sleeping spot. He had mostly clambered in as a joke, but then Rosalind had scoffed and told him that it would be terribly uncomfortable to sleep in a bathtub. To prove her wrong, of course, he had settled in nicely and closed his eyes.
I fell in love with you, and once I’ve tumbled that deep, I’m trying to understand everything you say no matter which language it’s in.”
“I wish I could remember,” he said into the dark. “I wish I could remember the first time you told me this.”
“Then I still wish I could remember, because under different circumstances, if you told me you loved me, I would have kissed you.”
leaned back and set his head on her shoulder. It was alike to every time he had done it in the past, and yet there was another layer to the gesture, physically placing himself elsewhere so there was no temptation to lean in. “Is this all right?” he asked. She nodded. He couldn’t see her, but he could feel the motion. “You can sleep if you want,” she murmured. “I’ll be awake the whole night to keep watch.”
“Even if the memories never come back,” he said slowly, “I’m going to love you again. I have decided to warn you in advance.”
“I know enough,” he countered. “From the moment you offered me that piece of popcorn and told me you didn’t like watching tragedies, I knew enough.” Orion adjusted himself, leaning closer into her shoulder. “Good night.”
“I thought I told you to stop calling me sǎozi.” “Yes, at least not until I propose properly,” Orion added from the table, his gaze still scanning the blueprints.
“It’s impossible that he will choose Priest over you.”
Orion wanted to go to her. He didn’t know whether he was allowed.
Rosalind took it, flashing him a brief, grateful look. Warmth moved through his chest in response, the sensation distracting him briefly before the pulsating at his head drew his attention again. He really needed to fix this. Or put an actual ice pick through his other ear—maybe that would help assuage the phantom sensation.
“Ros—” Her lips pressed over his. Suddenly
“In the study after I closed the door, you blockhead.”
That earned a smile. “Don’t worry. You’re still pretty.”
“Listen, I don’t remember anything about being an operative. Go easy on me.”
“All right, darling.” Orion got ahold of her arms at once, running his hands up and down in a soothing motion. “In the car.”
Orion blinked rapidly. “We’re joking, right?” he asked. “Please tell me we’re joking.” Rosalind patted his arm. “I hope to the high heavens that we are joking.”
“What was he doing touching her anyway?”
Silas gripped the bars. “Don’t worry,” he said in a rush. “Don’t worry. I’ll get you out.”
“Ugh. Where’s Orion when you need him?” “… here… be patient.” The faintest voice snuck through the rubble. Rosalind lurched close to the blockage, trying to catch the sound again. “Orion?” A piece of steel moved out of place. A circular hole opened in the obstruction. “As I was saying,” he exclaimed. “I’m here. Move back, please.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Orion said, stopping her the moment she crossed to his side. He tipped her chin up, getting a proper look at her face. “What happened in there?”
“It’s all right,” he whispered into her hair. “It’s all right, beloved.”
“Forgive me, gē.” His grimace grew even more awkward. “I have a rather terrible case of amnesia.”
“It shouldn’t even count as stealing. We are reuniting you with your typical fashion. You owned a vest just like this.” Rosalind’s mouth twitched when she helped him into it. “I should know, since your clothes were taking up so much of my closet space.”
“You seem very familiar with dressing me,” he remarked. “I feel like an overgrown child.” “A man-baby, one might
“Such as cuff links.” “Yes, such as cuff links.” Rosalind put the other one in. “The last time I did this, you said I was fussing like a real wife. It sent me into a great big huff.” Orion frowned. “Did I say it meanly? I apologize.” Rosalind’s gaze flickered up. His sleeves were finished, but she still hadn’t let go. “No,” she said. “I was angry because you were right, and I didn’t want to admit that it pleased me.”
“Liwen, the last time you saw me, you threatened physical violence. And the time before that. And the time before that.”
“Enough, enough,” Celia chided. “Stop it. Oliver has plenty to deal with right now.” Rosalind flinched. All her defensive hackles rose. “Hey,” she cut in. “Orion’s not doing anything wrong. He’s only trying to help.”
“I don’t know, sweetheart.” Oliver lifted himself onto his elbow. Celia cast him an immediate glare, but he was unfazed. “You’re being a little feisty right now.”
“You”—Celia tugged the bandage hard, tightening it—“gave yourself up for me. Why?”
“No, Celia, tell the truth.” His grip tightened on her. One hand rose, sinking into her loose hair. “You spoke correctly the first time. You’re afraid. I tell you over and over again that I want you, but you generate excuses for me. I tell you that I refuse to worship my father’s image of respectability, but you make it a matter of safety. I will love you if I please. I will make you my altar, I’ll put you above everything else in this world, I’ll revel in every morsel you are made of. It’s simple—just tell me you don’t feel the same, and I’ll let you go. But I won’t accept anything else. I
...more
for goodness’ sake, Oliver, I love you. I love you so much that I would die if you did, and that’s precisely the problem.
“God, it has taken you long enough, sweetheart.”
“You accept it,” he replied simply. “Because that’s what it means to be alive. That’s what it means to fight for something—to love something. The country is good enough for us to die for. Why wouldn’t you be?”
“Good,” he said. “It should be different because you are the woman I am in love with, not another.”
“I don’t bite,” she said. “Yes, you do.” Still, his internal dilemma seemed to have settled. Orion removed one hand from his pocket and slipped it into hers slowly.
Slowly she withdrew, pulling away from his warmth, from his steady, raging heartbeat. Orion didn’t release her immediately, so for a moment they stood nose to nose, his head tilted down without moving farther, her head tipped up to hold time still.
On Tuesday, Orion had almost gotten through the entire bag. “You’re ridiculous,” she said when he started peeling the last one. “That’s way too many apples.”
“That’s fine.” Rosalind gave him another tug. “You can stab me again. I don’t care.” “I care.”
“Hello,” Benedikt Montagov said plainly. “Any reason you’re in the middle of the road?”
This was Marshall Seo—despite her rare encounters with him in Shanghai back when the gangs were around, Rosalind had to assume the person always accompanying Benedikt was his now-husband.
“I’m not carrying him,” Marshall declared by the car.
Benedikt had put his pistol away, warily observing the scene with his arm held before Marshall to forbid him from going forward.
Benedikt and Marshall yelled their quick explanations, voices overlaying each other.
“I love you,” Orion said in lieu of a reply, in perfect replacement of any straightforward answer. “I love you, I love you, I’m sorry I said so many stupid things. I can’t believe I asked why we couldn’t cross the Suzhou Creek.”
No longer observed by witnesses, he leaned in, and then he was kissing her to make up for every day they had lost, every week that had been stolen, every month spent torn apart. Just as Rosalind had known that his memories had come back by the tone of his voice, it was clear at once that there was a difference in this, the hum of her skin where there was contact, the sheer familiarity when he touched the back of her neck and she rose to the tip of her toes.
“I do hate to interrupt.” That was a new voice: definitely not Juliette. Rosalind pulled away, looking over Orion’s shoulder right as he turned too. Benedikt Montagov leaned in the doorway, his arms folded over his chest casually and a slight lift in his brow. Despite his words, he didn’t seem to hate interrupting at all. If anything, he enjoyed being the one to barge in.
Benedikt and Marshall, on the other hand, appeared very puzzled, entirely out of the loop by the kitchen counter.
Marshall making a squeaking noise and Benedikt giving him a light kick to shut him up.

