The Right Wrong Number

by Katie Warren

They are no comparison to the human that used to be mine.

What do you say via text to your dead husband? I miss you. I miss you so damn much it hurts.

Your absence isn’t quiet. Sometimes it’s the loudest thing on earth. It weighs down on me so heavily that it makes it impossible to breathe.

I know it was just a mix up, a wrong number, but maybe it’s the right wrong number after all.

There must have been a note in Fishsticks’ file about his unsatisfactory behavior at the vet because the man who comes into our room doesn’t look like a veterinarian. He looks like Hannibal Lecter. Dr. Theo’s thick welding gloves go up his whole arm. Metal mesh gloves for this demonic cat, I can understand. Makes sense. I’ll have to try that next time I have to wrangle Fishsticks, but the mask? Jesus. What happened the last time James brought Fishsticks’ in that this guy is wearing a freaking welding mask?

“I remember what happened the last time Fishsticks was here. It wasn’t pretty. This is…just a precaution. Now, let’s try to take him out of the crate, but…slowly please,” he adds just before lowering his mask. Shit. It’s bad when even the veterinarian is terrified of your cat.

“Fishsticks likes you!” he exclaims. “Fishsticks doesn’t like anyone!”

I don’t know what the commotion is all about. It’s just a cat, a cat that seems incredibly friendly and full of love.

Do I...think Julian is...cute too? Like the way he thinks I’m cute?

Not waiting for a response, I shut the door behind me. The second I hear it click I know that I fucked up.

LIAM: Open the fucking door. Open the…? Oh, fuuuck. He’s back? Holy shit. He’s here!

And so fucking what if it’s a man? If someone can make you feel like this, it doesn’t matter. It should never matter. Feeling like this could never be wrong.

These are the lips I kissed last night, multiple times, and I don’t regret a second of it.

“I don’t know what this is, but what I do know is that it feels right. Everything feels right with you.”

“It’s fine if you’re scared Julian, but don’t take it out on me. Don’t stop this because you’re scared. I’m here for you. I promise I am.”

“If that’s the case, he deserves better,” she says under her breath.

I wish he could see that I don’t want him to stop loving James. I’m not asking him to stop loving him, I’m asking him to make room for me. I can never take James’ place, and I don’t want to. His grief over the death of his husband comes with him, and I would never try to take that away from him.

“No, because for reasons I can’t explain, being with you feels right. How can I freak out when it feels like this is the place that I should absolutely be, with the person I should absolutely be with?”

“Yes. I want to know everything about you, which means I want to know about James too. I want to know all about the person who will always hold a piece of your heart.”

“Is there room in there for me?” I ask, touching his heart with my palm. “Can you spare a sliver for me in this heart of yours? I’ll never take James’ spot, and I don’t want to, but I need to know if you can carve out a piece for me, too.”

“I’ve realized that life ends, but love doesn’t. I’ll never stop loving you,” I stammer, my voice trembling. “You were the man I loved when I had you. Liam can be the man I love in a world without you,”

“My heart was half-empty without you here. I’m going to let Liam fill it up again.”

I could not lose another acceptable human. Not again.

Fear not, Diary. Fishsticks will prevail, as always.