You know what’s great about McDonald’s? It’s the last universal place in America. Nobody over the age of six actively aspires to go to McDonald’s but—eventually—everyone does. As I sit in my vinyl booth and scribble these notes into a legal pad, I am surrounded by every aspect of society: angst-ridden teenagers, three boring businessmen, a table of grandparents, one depressed drunk guy, and the most beautiful woman I’ve seen since May of 1993. I wonder if this woman would be impressed if I told her I ate forty McNuggets today? Sadly, the blond bombshell dumps her tray and walks out of the door
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