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October 25 - October 26, 2023
He was getting turned on by a man he’d only just met in a crowded room after talking about their dead families.
He’d kissed people before, but it’d never been like this. No one had ever made him feel like his mouth was their favorite meal and they’d gone months starving in the desert.
“The only person’s eyes you’ve met in the past five minutes are mine,” Apollo stated, “and I can assure you, I’ve never felt remorseful a day in my life.”
“I just fucked you on a roof, Detective,” he stated bluntly, causing a shiver to race up Shade’s spine. “And you loved every second of it. Clearly modesty is overrated.”
Sex on the rooftop had been the most exciting thing Shade had done in possibly his entire life, but he doubted Apollo would say the same.
“You know that BDSM is a thing, and you know that many people enjoy it. So why are you so hell-bent on torturing yourself like this when you could be letting someone else do the torturing for you and actually enjoying it?”
“You’re hitting on me.” “Yup.” “But also interrogating me.” “Correct again.”
“There’s a good chance I’ll end up hurting you without meaning to.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Apollo told him, voice dropping to a low whisper, “there’s a great chance I’ll end up hurting you on purpose.”
He was going to take him and break him and make him his. But it wasn’t all selfish. He’d be sure to fix him in the process.
“Am I supposed to be insulted that a man who can’t stand being in his own company claims not to want to be around me either? Unlike some people, I know my own worth. It’ll take more than that to hurt me, baby, but by all means, keep trying.”
“Not my fault you look so delectable, Detective. I could just eat you up.” He grunted when that had the other man tensing. “Not literally. Even I have my limits. Cannibalism isn’t one of my kinks, thankfully for the both of us.”
We’ve all got baggage from our past that we need to sort through eventually so we can move on with our lives. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s not all that special.”
His end goal might be to break him, but he was enjoying the process of getting there far too much.
“You think because you’re a good person it’s different?” Apollo asked. “Bullshit. Everyone is a monster behind a mask. None of us are different. We’re all hiding behind brightly colored masks, praying the world never glimpses our true face. Praying if they do, that at least the people around us won’t turn their backs. Normal? Good? These are just social constructs. Who gets to decide what’s right and wrong? Who gets to tell you that you’re gross for wanting to be owned?”
“Let’s be insane together then. You can be right or you can be happy. You’ve tried the first, is that really the life you want?
He was falling for Apollo, not lightly or gently, but the way someone tripped and stumbled down a flight of stairs. It was painful and a struggle and more than once on the way down he prayed for it to finally end, but the landing was there. He’d reach it eventually.
He’d spent his whole life pretending and look where that’d gotten him. Miserable and alone.
Shade didn’t want to be normal. He wanted to be happy.
