Between the Devil and the Sea (The Devil and the Sea #1)

by Chani Lynn Feener

Trauma-induced PTSD had left him a bit…unstable, as his doctors liked to put it. The end result was a constant influx of other people’s feelings that left him discombobulated at the best of times, and barely functioning at the worst. Hence, the blockers.

He’d worked a case once where the nail of the left big toe was always removed. When he’d finally found the culprit, the guy had strung them up around his apartment like they were fairy lights.

There’d been a look in Shadow’s eyes when their gazes had locked and a tremor had skittered down his spine, pleasurable and warm. For the first time in a long time, he’d felt well and truly seen.

Shade had been like this since his parent’s abandonment, the type of person who would rather risk running in the near darkness than have to make eye contact with someone else. He wished he liked solitude more, but the truth was he didn’t. He hated being alone, in fact. Hated being trapped with nothing but his thoughts and the tight cinching in his chest

“This is nothing,” he told him. “I’m actually holding myself back at the moment.” “Why?” “So I don’t scare you away?” Apollo laughed, giving off the impression he’d been joking. “I don’t believe in pretending. If I want something, I go after it.

He’d kissed people before, but it’d never been like this. No one had ever made him feel like his mouth was their favorite meal and they’d gone months starving in the desert.

Nothing had ever set fire to his blood, and when Apollo nipped at him a second time, easily cracking open the wound on his lip that had only just begun to seal, Shade let out a shameless moan he felt rocking all the way to his core.

“I’d much rather accept people as they really are.” “That’s how you end up surrounded by unmentionables.” “I said I’d accept them,” Shade corrected. “I didn’t say I’d stick around.” The corner of Apollo’s mouth twitched up, but it was different from any of the other smiles he’d given before. Almost imperceptible, somehow coming off private. “See, that’s the problem then. I want to keep you around.”

it took everything in him not to beg for more. Beg to make it hurt a little more.

“I just fucked you on a roof, Detective,” he stated bluntly, causing a shiver to race up Shade’s spine. “And you loved every second of it. Clearly modesty is overrated.”

that’d never stopped him from fantasizing about being wanted so badly by someone that they’d do literally anything to him to have him. Tie him up, pin him down…His

The shower stall was large enough to fit three grown men with ease, giving Shade plenty of room to fill the space with his self-hatred, the one emotion of his he never seemed to have trouble identifying and picking out from the mess that belonged to others.

Typically, feelings were felt in layers, the lighter overlapping ones belonging to the people a Chitta was reading. This difference allowed them to always be in touch with the heavier layer beneath, which were their own emotions.

“You know that BDSM is a thing, and you know that many people enjoy it. So why are you so hell-bent on torturing yourself like this when you could be letting someone else do the torturing for you and actually enjoying it?”

He didn’t even appear to be even remotely upset, almost as if their whole conversation up to this point he’d been simply going through the motions and saying what he thought should be said instead of what he really wanted to.

“You’re hitting on me.” “Yup.” “But also interrogating me.” “Correct again.” That caught his attention and Shade held his gaze. “Do you usually interrogate the people you hit on?”

“This is really an interrogation, you know that, right? Like, you could switch jobs with me right now and anyone would believe you were the detective and I was your suspect.” “Person of interest,” Apollo corrected, smirking. “You’re my person of interest at the moment, Shadow Yor. How unlucky for you.

“There’s a good chance I’ll end up hurting you without meaning to.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Apollo told him, voice dropping to a low whisper, “there’s a great chance I’ll end up hurting you on purpose.”

The whole wall had been redone in mirrors. Pieces and shards, all of varying sizes, with large cracks and small, jagged edges and smooth surfaces. There was no discernable pattern, but it was easy to see that was more than half the point. Apollo had captured the true purpose of the exhibit splendidly, the photos showing the reflections of groups of people, all staring at their reflections. Some were frowning, others were wide-eyed. They, like the glass, came in all shapes and sizes, but crowded together the reflections mixed, all of them broken and shattered.

you’ve seen how easy it is for people to cover up their truths. It’s a simple matter to plant ‘obvious answers’ that are actually just pretty lies tied up nice with a bow.”

“That’s the point of the piece. The Room of Terror. They’re all staring at themselves, in pieces. When they look around, they see everyone else is in the same state. What’s scarier than that? People always try to hide their faults. This piece exposes them for being the broken creatures they are.”

“I thought her hair was super pretty.” “Wow,” Gael laughed, “that’s so sad, dude. Come on. Is that what it is this time? Do you think the reporter’s hair is pretty?” Yes. It was so black and shiny, like spilled ink. Shade was smart enough to keep that thought to himself, however.

like the process of learning and picking apart another person’s life. Trying to find exactly where things went wrong for them, exactly what made them snap. He could pinpoint the exact events that led up to him turning out the way he had, and it was a sort of pastime of his to try and piece together what had caused that in others.

As per usual, the second he spotted Shadow an onslaught of emotion consumed him. Arousal, excitement, anger, and this deep-rooted need all clawed at his chest, urging him to cross the room,

The moment he’d heard Shade’s parents had left him at an orphanage his fascination had exploded into a full-blown obsession. They’d both been rejected by their families, the people who were meant to love them unconditionally, but Apollo had gone one way and Shade had gone the other.

Apollo was going to find out. He was going to find out everything about Shadow Yor. The best way to conquer something was to uncover them completely. Expose them to the things that made them uncomfortable. Shine a light on the skeletons in their closest and watch how they reacted when forced to confront them.

As an adult who did horrendous things, Apollo could admit now that what she’d done was nothing in the grand scheme of things, that it could have been a lot worse if only she’d been creative enough.

“I mean you and I are both in the same predicament. We’ve never known the safety of a loving family. That’s what I want.”

“I want to get to know you too. That means being introduced to your demons, as you call them. Show me. I won’t run away. Trust me, I’ve been a detective for a decade now. I’ve seen it all.” “Have you now?” For some reason, Apollo didn’t like the idea of Shadow playing with other people’s monsters. He wanted all of his focus, all of his attention. He didn’t want to share anymore.

Shade claimed he could accept him? Heavens help him if he was lying too, because he might not yet be aware of it, but he wasn’t up against your average run-of-the-mill demon. Apollo was the Devil. And the Devil took no prisoners.

Apollo was rather fearless. He didn’t appear to be the least bit concerned that there may be a known serial killer targeting him. In fact, every now and again, Shade swore there was even a slight glimmer of excitement in the other man’s ocean-blue eyes.

“You’re not the only one who doesn’t like taking orders, Detective. Although, something important I should note you’ll need to keep in mind for future reference,” Apollo stopped a few feet away, expression morphing into one of intensity, “I enjoy giving them. And I expect them to be followed.” Shade paused. Why was that hot?

There was a sparkle in them that Shade had never seen on anyone but criminals before, the type that liked inflicting pain on others and watching them squirm and cry out.

He’d been enraptured, unable to look away, taking in every movement, every reaction Shade had to the scene Apollo had left there only hours before. He’d even found himself wishing he’d taken more time with this one, done it up nice and pretty for the detective. Sort of a welcome to the neighborhood gift

He liked invading the minds of his victims, liked to claw his way in deep and hook into them before the final blow.

he’d fuck the man to get him out of his system and then end things. He’d been prepared to shove him from the rooftop afterward—that had been the whole reason he’d brought him all the way up there in the first place.

That darkness, which usually urged Apollo to kill and maim, had whispered other things into his ears. Still horrible things, of course, but the urges were different, nothing like what they were when he typically chose a victim. Instead of pinning the detective down and slicing him open, he wanted to tie him up in his bedroom and keep him there.

Apollo was going to become his everything. He’d fix Shadow Yor, take him apart, figure out how the pieces went back together properly, and make him whole again.

“It appears that I’m a little bit obsessed with you, Detective.” He was so fucked up because those words actually had a rush of relief coursing through him. Relief. Here he was, chained to a damn wall with a criminal before him, and he was relieved? Because at least that meant he’d really been wanted. Even if it’d been brief and by a monster.

“That would probably hold more weight if I wasn’t aware of how much you hate yourself,” Apollo drawled. “Am I supposed to be insulted that a man who can’t stand being in his own company claims not to want to be around me either? Unlike some people, I know my own worth. It’ll take more than that to hurt me, baby,

“Why are you doing this?” Shade tried to keep the pathetic and cliché comments to a minimum, but now that he was getting a boner five seconds after almost being murdered, he opted to put pride aside for a second.

I’ll pick you apart and leave you bare until all you have left is me to keep you warm. Until you can’t recall which pieces were yours initially and which ones I sewed into your psyche. I’m going to leave traces of me everywhere, baby. You wanted to be wanted?” He brushed his mouth feather-light against his. “Careful what you wish for.”

“You keep asking me questions as if it’s going to make a difference what I say.” “Of course it’ll make a difference,” he corrected. “I want to get to know you better. How can I do that if I don’t get you to engage in conversation?” “And if I say something you don’t like?” “Then you get punished.” Apollo shrugged like it was a no-brainer. “Try saying something I like instead. See what happens.” “You don’t want to get to know me,” Shade said tersely. “You want me to play the part of someone I’m not

I took you because I wanted you, and I’m going to keep you for that exact same reason.

An empath who didn’t feel empathy? “What about when other people do? Don’t you read it and feel it off of them?” “I don’t feel anything off of other people,” Apollo confessed. “I know what they’re feeling, but I don’t feel it myself. When you’re scared, like you are right now, there’s an almost bitter taste on my tongue, like overly ripe cherries.” He smiled. “I like the flavor.”

The problem with knowing you were being conditioned was it didn’t help. It made him feel worse about himself, sure, but that was the extent of it. It couldn’t stop his brain from conforming,

Shade had picked the devil. He’d picked himself. And that was the true crux of it all. Shade didn’t want to be normal. He wanted to be happy.

He was trying to be reassuring, was outraged on his behalf. It made Shade question whether or not he’d been as alone and disliked as he’d thought all this time, or if that’d merely been his own twisted perception fooling him. Hadn’t Gael tried to tell him that on more than one occasion?

There are very few things I can’t buy.” “Not me. You can’t buy me.” Déjà vu. “I know that,” Apollo agreed. “If there was a chance that I could have, do you think I would have gone through all the trouble of kidnapping you?” Shade gave him a look. “Fine,” he admitted. “I probably would have. It was fun.