The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

by Mark Manson

Pain, in all of its forms, is our body’s most effective means of spurring action.

research has found that our brains don’t register much difference between physical pain and psychological pain.

Like physical pain, our psychological pain is an indication of something out of equilibrium, some limitation that has been exceeded.

“Don’t hope for a life without problems,” the panda said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”

Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge you in the direction of beneficial change. Look, I don’t mean to make

if you feel crappy it’s because your brain is telling you that there’s a problem that’s unaddressed or unresolved. In other words, negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to do something. Positive emotions, on the other hand, are rewards for taking the proper action.

our struggles determine our successes.

The true measurement of self-worth is not how a person feels about her positive experiences, but rather how she feels about her negative experiences.

This flood of extreme information has conditioned us to believe that exceptionalism is the new normal.

Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction. Constant positivity is a form of avoidance, not a valid solution to life’s problems—problems

Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.

Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Dabrowski argued that fear and anxiety and sadness are not necessarily always undesirable or unhelpful states of mind; rather, they are often representative of the necessary pain of psychological growth.

“If you’re stuck on a problem, don’t sit there and think about it; just start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head.”

Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.

The desire to avoid rejection at all costs, to avoid confrontation and conflict, the desire to attempt to accept everything equally and to make everything cohere and harmonize, is a deep and subtle form of entitlement. Entitled people, because they feel as though they deserve to feel great all the time, avoid rejecting anything because doing so might make them or someone else feel bad. And because they refuse to reject anything, they live a valueless, pleasure-driven, and self-absorbed life. All they give a fuck about is sustaining the high a little bit longer, to avoid the inevitable failures of their life, to pretend the suffering away.

Commitment gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous.